Parenting Tip - Transitions in Life

Last month I turned 70 years old.  I have dreaded this day for several years.  In fact, I have dreaded it so much, that I completely ruined my 69th year by thinking constantly of turning 70 and so I didn't even appreciate my last year in the 60's decade.

The reason I have dreaded turning 70 was because this puts me in the "old people's" decade.  I feel like those are the people with gray hair and achy joints, who stand up slowly, are hard of hearing and go to bed at 9 pm.  The world categorizes them as "has beens" and that is how I thought my life would become.

But my hair is still brown (with lots of gray).  My joints don't hurt (knock on wood).  I have noticed, though ,that I can't hear high pitches and some nights I'm anxious to go to bed early, so I see myself sliding into being "old."  But I have so much energy still.  I want to continue teaching music and I want to travel and be an important person in my children and grandchildren's lives.  I don't want to be old and gray and sit in a rocking chair.

And to that mental turmoil I was experiencing in comes the pandemic with quarantine and life routine changes, closures and major upheaval.  Now I really am sitting at home doing nothing day after day.  My nightmare is real!

So I had a mid-life crisis.  I had a melt down. I had to talk seriously to myself and my God and get a handle on this new life.  Here is what I came up with:

*Life is in 3 parts:  Single life - birth to marriage (23 years) Wife/Mother – (age 23-61, 38 years)

Widow/Retirement (age 61-99, 38 years)  These years are based on my life.

*The last third of my life is as long as my middle life! 

*I’ve already lived 9 years of  my third life and have possibly 25+ years more---that’s a lot of time. 

*What am I going to do with it?  (I come from ancestors who lived a long life, so that’s what I’m counting on)

*I’m definitely not a “has been”.  I have interests, passions and goals.  I have a lot more things I need to accomplish and do. 

*This is my third life and I need to relish it, enjoy it, and keep learning, serving and loving.

I felt better about my life after figuring all of that out.  But with COVID-19 I can’t keep teaching as a service missionary, I can’t serve at the temple, and I can’t teach my music groups.  Then I remembered my 2020 yearly goal is to ACCEPT the season of life I’m in, accept the season of the year that’s here and accept others as they are.  So I had to figure out what I could do during this time of life.  I felt like if I knew what my values were, and did things each day that involved them, then I would feel like I was accomplishing things.

The values I decided on were: *Learn something new *Serve others *Seek Christ *Teach others

 I realized I have been doing things which include those values and so I feel much better about how I am spending my days.  I have a purpose in life.  I have goals.  I'm learning lots of new music on my banjo, ukulele and mandolin.  I'm looking for Just Serve projects and doing them.  I love reading the scriptures and learning from Come Follow Me podcasts.  I'm teaching my grandchildren through the marco polo app and doing science projects at my home.

I AM NOT A HAS BEEN!  

Watch out people.  Here I come with 70 years experience.  Welcome to the next third of my life!!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - What Can I Do?

The last 3 months have been the strangest I have ever lived through.  I never thought in my wildest imagination that I would see the world shut down.  That businesses would close their doors.  That people would stay quarantined inside their homes for weeks and now months on end.  That my sons and son-in-law who live in 4 different states would be working from home.  That school marques would say, "School closed until further notice." That a pandemic the size of the whole world would bring the world intimately closer together.

And then, just as the world was beginning to loosen it's hold on the stringent methods it had to use to forestall the deaths of possibly millions of people, one person is brutally killed and everything is turned upside down again.

I have read many view points on the killing of the black man by the policeman and have wondered at the rioting, hate and crime that have insued.  I feel the pain of those people who are so often ridiculed, persecuted and unjustly accused and slandered.  I have felt embarrased and chastened by my own lack of understanding and ignorance of the racial issue.  I have pondered on what I can do.  Is there something that I can do to reduce the racial hatred that is consuming so many people? 

I am only one person and touch only a few people's lives.  My small pebble dropped in the pond only creates a small ripple.  But it does create a ripple.  It does move outward and who knows what other small ripples it may touch.

So what can I do? 

I can teach.
 My children are grown, but I have grandchildren and I can teach them to love and accept others who are different from themselves.  My nephew Bradley's wife, Kailei, posted on Facebook a list of books we can read to our children.  I borrowed one and read it to my grandchildren on Marco Polo today and bore my testimony that God loves all His children and made us different so we can help each other.

I can feel empathy.  A biracial family I know feels sad and threatened.  Wouldn't they appreciate someone recognizing their pain and hurt from past occasions and welcome a treat and note of love?

I can acknowledge another's humanness (yep, that's a word).  When I fly on a plane, I notice that the seats next to black, brown, Muslim, poor, and fat people are the last seats to get taken.  It is obvious that others are avoiding sitting next to them.  What if I chose to sit by someone different from me and acknowledged them?  What message would I be saying without saying a word?

I'm ready to look around and see what small things I can do.  I'm ready to listen to the still small voice whispher what small things I can do.  Because "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass." Alma 37:6

Thanks for reading,

Cathy
PS I chose to read this particular book to my grandchildren because of an experience I had several years ago and again just recently.  The Proudest Blue is about a young girl who begins 6th grade and wears a hijab for the first time.  Several years ago when I was teaching school, a mother came up to me on the first day of school with her daughter and said this was the first day she would be wearing a hijab to school.  She wanted me to talk to the class and explain a little bit about her daughter's new headwear so the children wouldn't make fun of her. I was happy to do this and happy to find out more of the reason for wearing a hijab.

And then recently, for the past 1 1/2 years I have been teaching English to women from Somalia who  all wear hijabs.  I have gotten to know these women and love them.  I admire their desire to dress modestly and respect their beliefs.

We are all different.  We are all loved by God. 


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Parenting Tip-It's the little things that count!

I love reading about the thru hikers who hike the Appalachian Trail-- a 2,200 mile long trail that goes from Georgia to Maine. I dream that maybe some day I will hike it, but then I remember I don't like sleeping on the cold hard ground!  I bumped into a post on You Tube of a family of 7 hiking the whole trail (which takes several months) and the youngest child was only age two.  I watched several of their posts, envying their days of hiking and enjoying nature, that is, after it finally quit snowing for several weeks.  They were living a life with intention.

A couple of days ago I started reading a book about another family of 7 who took a year out of their normal lives to sail from the Caribbean to New York City with their five children (the youngest with Down Syndrome).  They had little money and little experience, but they had big dreams and lots of ambition.  They were living an intentional life.

Last night I started reading a book about following your ideas and dreams, though they may appear "stupid" and not achievable, and see where they can lead you.  Your idea may be the next million dollar start up business. 

I reflected on a conversation I had with a retired doctor who was volunteering at the same refugee center where I was teaching English.  I had asked him about his past and he told me his glorious life of traveling here and there and everywhere doctoring, teaching and doing wonderful things.  When I told him I had grown up on one street in Mesa and married and moved to the next street over and had raised my children there and still lived there--a street away from my parents-- he put his hand on my forehead and said, "Cathy, we need to get you some help!"

Yes, I have lived a pretty risk-free, non exciting sort of life.  I've only hiked a few miles on the Appalachian Trail when visiting grandchildren who live in Virginia, I have never been on a sailboat, but did get the courage, once, to ride on a water tube behind a boat in Tennessee. And I've never started a million dollar business from scratch , though I have had a piano studio for 43+ years.

I obviously could never write a book about my adventuresome life.  But I have lived a life that has been intentional, fulfilling and happy.  

I have intentionally stayed at home to raise, teach and nurture my children.  I have lived in one very small home with only one bathroom (for most of the time) and taught my children how to work, how to share and how to make do with what you have.

I have intentionally taught my children to love God and to serve others who not only live far away, but may live right in your neighborhood and are just as needy.

I have felt fulfilled as a mother as I watched all my children pay their way thru, and graduate from college, then marry fine individuals and are currently raising wonderful families.  I have felt fulfilled as a grandmother each time I babysit and play with my grandchildren.

I have felt overly and abundantly happy as I watch the sunset from my kitchen window while washing dishes, or hike in the desert with a cherished friend, or finally play a song on the banjo it has taken weeks to learn.

By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.
Alma 37:6-7

You don't have to do a great and grand adventure with your family.  You can, if you want.  But please don't underestimate the seemingly small and simple things you are doing every day.  The sense of peace and security you give to your children by living your "routinely, boring" day cannot be taken lightly.  It is HUGE! 

Take a close look at your day, at your life, and at your family and marriage.  Smile and acknowledge all the good you are doing.  Go be adventurous!  Go to the library, the museum, sit and help your child practice an instrument, draw, paint, run around in the backyard.  

Whoo whee!  Life is good!


Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip- What Matters Most?

It's a new year--2018. Time for goals, for schedules beginning again, for activities to start running into each other and for saying goodbye to the lazy days between New Year's Eve and school starting. I had lunch with a friend today as we set our new goals for the year and the month and I'm actually excited to get the new semester going again. But I'm afraid I'm falling into the same pitfall that I fall into so many times before--that of over scheduling myself. 

I like to be busy.  I like to think I'm still young and vital and involved in life.  When I really admit it to myself, though, I think I'm afraid of quiet and slow time.  It makes me feel like something is wrong with me, that everyone else is busy doing fun and important things and I'm not.  Pres Uchtdorf said,

"Let’s be honest; it’s rather easy to be busy. We all can think up a list of tasks that will overwhelm our schedules. Some might even think that their self-worth depends on the length of their to-do list. They flood the open spaces in their time with lists of meetings and minutia—even during times of stress and fatigue. Because they unnecessarily complicate their lives, they often feel increased frustration, diminished joy, and too little sense of meaning in their lives.

 The wise understand and apply the lessons of tree rings and air turbulence. They resist the temptation to get caught up in the frantic rush of everyday life. They follow the advice “There is more to life than increasing its speed.”1In short, they focus on the things that matter most."

I love that phrase and concept, "the things that matter most."  What things am I doing in my life that really matter the most?  Is it reading Facebook and looking at what others are posting about so I feel bad about myself?  Is it following someone on Instagram who is so focused on photographing every aspect of their life, that they forget to really live their life?  A friend told me about a girl she follows on Instagram.  One day my friend and her husband went to an ice cream shop, and there was the girl she followed on Instagram, posing with her ice cream cone while her husband took pictures of her.  I thought, "How sad, that you can't even enjoy having a date with your husband without thinking about your next post and making sure you get a good shot of yourself."

What Matters Most?
Am I  making space during my day so I can babysit or help someone when they call and need it?
Am I allowing time to play with grandchildren or read a book or call and talk to a lonely friend?
Am I putting my creative energy into fulfilling my role as a mother, grandmother, or Church member?

Thinking of this question has already helped me make two hard choices.  I want to play my banjo somewhere that is out of my comfort zone.  I met a person who has an "in" and can help me achieve this dream of mine, but I'm starting to chicken out of doing it.  I'm thinking of all the reasons why I shouldn't do it after all.  When I asked myself the question, what matters most, though, it helped me put things into perspective and gave me the courage to take the plunge and do it.  Well, I haven't done it yet, but I'm going to do it!

The other choice involves taking time to see out of state family, which is costly, time consuming and again, out of my comfort zone and normal schedule.  But when I ask  myself, "what matters most", then of course, it is seeing grandchildren and establishing relationships with them.

So you guessed it.  One of my goals for 2018 is to ask myself, "what matters most?"

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - What Do You Say No and Yes To?

I've been listening to The Simple Show podcast for several months now and love it. It's a great walking-in-the-morning companion.  For the past little while, they have had a segment where Tsh Oxenreider, the host, and her friends discuss what they say NO and YES to on different topics.  It has made me stop and think about what I say no and yes to.  There is always a trade off--when you say no to something, it opens up your life to say yes to something else.  And vice versa.  So here are a few of the things I say NO and YES to.  Not by topic, but by what comes to my mind.

I say YES to nature.  I am somehow intrinsically bound to the weather and outside.  I open the door to check the weather each morning and I'm immediately happy when I see cloudy, stormy weather (I live in Arizona--enough said).  Because of saying yes to nature, I hike a lot with a hiking friend.  I have to.  I have to get outside and enjoy the cacti, clouds and beauty.  It's also a healthy mental outlet that I need.

I say YES to sunsets.  I check the sunsets in the evenings and randomly send out "sunset alerts" to my friends and family when I see a beautiful one.  And they send them back to me, by the way.  I say YES to stopping life and standing outside and looking at a sunset.

I say YES to grandchildren.  I am a child at heart still and love to watch children play.  I say yes to buying toys that let them use their imaginations. Lately I've been stalking the thrift stores for firefighter coats and hats.  I even converted one of our sheds into "The Kid's Club House" where last night my 7 year old grandson creatively hot glued small rocks onto a paper cup to make a fairy house.

I say YES to learning.  For the past 4 years I have been learning to play the banjo.  I learned to play the ukulele and teach it now.  I want to learn to play the mandolin and my children are buying me one for Christmas (I hope).  I've always wanted to learn to draw, so this year I have been taking an online art class.  I'm still not good at drawing, but I'm getting a lot better at lettering and doodling--which is what the class was about.  I'm thinking of taking an online watercolor class next year.
       
Now what do I say No to?

I say NO to feeling guilty about things.  This is an ongoing process but at my age, you would think I would have my act together.  Not so.  I have to continually analyze my actions and thoughts and specifically tell myself to not feel guilty about a situation or event.

I say NO to wasting time.  That doesn't mean I don't sit down and read a book, or look at Facebook.  But I try to organize myself to accomplish good things during the day--and evenings.  I cut down the time I spend on the internet randomly surfing and following mindless links and videos.

I say NO to shopping sales and ads.  When I need to buy clothing, I'll buy it.  If I shop all the ads, I tend to spend when I don't really need something. When I look at the ads and specials I find that I start wanting things I never knew I wanted or needed before.

I say NO to a life of misery, unhappiness or just going with the flow.  If I'm down I analyze why and try to change my attitude.  One of my favorite quotations is this one by Pres. Hinkley that is on my living room wall. 

I want to live my life so that at the end of it, I can look back on all the fun experiences I have had with family, grandchildren, friends and others.  I want to look back on the meaningful service I have given and the heart to heart talks I have had with loved ones.  I want to live an intentional life, not one that has just happened randomly as life went by.

This has been fun for me to think about what I say NO and YES to.  It really helps to put things in perspective and helps me realize what my values are.  It makes me stronger and more diligent in wanting to keep my "nos" and "yeses" intact (how do I spell that, anyway?).  I am living an intentional life.  I love that feeling.

It's something I say YES to.

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

PS What a great experience it would be to talk as a family or as a husband/wife about what you say no and yes to.  It helps you get on the same page.  It helps you solidify what you want to happen in your family, how you want to spend your money and what experiences you want for yourself and your children.   It clarifies your values and beliefs and aligns your actions to those values. Say YES and see what happens!

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Parenting Tip - Grandma's Camp

I just got back from Grandma's Camp last week.  This was a week of having fun, learning about ancestors, and bonding with cousins.  I invited my 11 oldest grandchildren, ages 9-14.  I have grandchildren that are scattered across the United States--6 in Virginia, 4 in Illinois, 3 in Utah and 7 in Arizona.  I don't get to see them that much, plus the cousins don't get to see each other either. Some of the cousins don't really know each other that well because they haven't been able to spend a lot of time together, so I decided to fix that problem.  Hence, Grandma's Camp!

The goal of Grandma's Camp was to have the cousins bond and create memories with each other, as well as for my grandchildren to get to know their ancestors better, namely their grandparents and great grandparents.  My husband passed away almost 6 years ago, so some of the grandchildren barely remember him.  Both of his parents have also passed away.

We held Grandma's Camp at my daughter's beautiful home in a beautiful rural area of southern Illinois.  Talk about green countryside!  Green, gorgeous trees everywhere, green rolling fields, wide open blue skies, and relatively wonderful weather.  What a setting for our week long camp.

Each day we focused on the life of one of the grandparents/great grandparents.  We told stories about their lives and I assigned grandchildren to find and tell a story too, so they would internalize their relationship with this deceased ancestor.  Then we would do a fun activity related to their grandparent's life.  For instance, my dad grew up on a dairy farm in the early 30's and milked cows when he was age 5 and rode a horse to round up the cows.  So on his day, we went horse back riding. My mother's parents came from Sweden and our Swedish heritage is big in our family.  My sister and I learned to say the blessing on the food in Swedish and always said it that way when we were growing up.  So I taught one of my granddaughters to say the prayer in Swedish, and she taught all the cousins, and at each mealtime a different grandchild would eagerly ask to say the blessing.

My mom painted rocks to look like cute animals, so on my mother's day, the cousins painted rocks. On my husband's day we went fishing, on my father-in-law's day we went rock jumping and swimming in a lake and even wore mustaches to honor his handlebar moustache.  My mother-in-law was an avid bird watcher and made pictures from pressed wild flowers, so on her day we had a bird scavenger hunt outside and made bookmarks with the flowers we had collected on our other days.  On my day, we played music, of course!

Each day also had free time for the cousins to play together.  They enjoyed sliding on the slip and slide, created fun mazes with mats and swings and air mattresses in the basement,  rode scooters, colored with sidewalk chalk and talked and laughed and bonded!

The goal of Grandma's Camp was accomplished.  Cousins became best friends and grandparents and great grandparents became real people with hobbies and talents passed on to their grandchildren.  Relationships is what life is about.  Loving people, enjoying family and building trust and friendships that will last throughout eternity--that is what we will take with us.  And our memories!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

Parenting Tip - Be Nice to your Future Self

I'm basically a lazy person.  If a recipe calls for cutting an onion and garlic, I'll either skip that recipe or just use onion and garlic salt instead.  If the weeds are over running my flower bed, I'll try spraying them rather than take the time to pull them out. But sometimes I'll amaze myself by talking myself out of being lazy.  Like if I'm too tired to take a shower at night but have to leave early the next morning, I'll tell myself, "just take a shower, you'll love yourself tomorrow."  And I do.  I thank myself over and over the next morning for taking my shower last night.

A listener on Gretchen Rubin's podcast mentioned "doing something kind for your future self" when she read a blog entry from Wil Wheaton.  This idea of doing something nice for your future self really resonated with me, since that is a tactic I use to get myself to do something hard.  Gretchen's sister mentioned on the podcast that she uses that idea to make herself lift weights, telling herself that when she is 70 years old and not feeble, she will thank herself.

You can use this idea in so many ways---getting yourself to fold and put away the laundry so your future self will enjoy seeing your family function more happily.  Doing the dishes at night so the kitchen is clean in the morning.  Ah, thank you, self!

Gretchen says this is a great strategy for obligers to use to help them do something just for themselves.  Obligers are people  who can meet outer expectations--they can do what others ask them to do, but struggle to meet expectations they impose on themselves.  

Why is it so hard to do something just for yourself?  I think it is because we feel selfish.  We feel like we should be using our time to help our children, or our husband or doing our Church calling or whatever. We are told over and over again to serve others-- that is the key to happiness, but I think we forget that serving ourselves will give us more energy to serve others.

Another reason might be that life goes by so quickly.  We are so busy taking care of life in the present, that we don't have time to worry and take care of life in the future.   The "squeaky wheel gets the grease" and life squeaks really loud in the present.

So how can you and I take this idea and help our future selves?  I can tell my present self, "No, don't buy that cute blouse.  Remember you are saving your money for __________.  You'll thank me in 6 months."

I can tell my present self, "Don't eat that _______.  Go drink a glass of water instead.  You'll love me tomorrow."

I can tell my present self, "Yes, it's okay to stop and play with my kids (grandkids).  I'm bonding and will love myself when they come to me with problems when they're older."

Be nice to your future self--she'll thank you profusely!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy
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Music Tip - Mom/tot classes starting up

To all of you who live in Mesa, AZ, I'm starting up my Mom/tot music classes for this semester.  They will be on Tuesday mornings and will alternate between two different retirement/nursing homes.  You can choose which weeks you want to come (1st/3rd or 2nd/4th or all).  Here's the scoop:

Music classes held on the 1st and 3rd Tuesdays of the following months at Symphony Rehabilitation (Broadway between Lindsay/Val Vista).  Classes are 10:45-11:30

Feb 7 and 21

March 7 and 21

April 4 and 18

Classes on the 2nd and 4th Tues of the following months will be held at The Courtyard Towers 22 N Robson, across from The Idea Museum .  Classes are 10:00-10:45

Jan 24, 2017

Feb 14 and 28

March 28

April 11 and 25

All music classes are Free!!  This is my service to the community.  However, this semester I am asking for a $20 donation per family that I will give to a children's charity.  If you want to come to all the classes every week, it is still just a $20 donation. Grandmas, use this as a play date with your grandchildren!!

There is something magical about combining 2 different generations with music.  Your heart will swell with love and pure joy as you watch your children wave scarves to music with the "grandmas and grandpas" or play the jingles or egg shakers with them.

Space is limited, so please email me early to register:  playsmusic@hotmail.com
I'm a past Kindermusik teacher for ASU's community ed classes.

Parenting Tip - I am Grateful!!!

This morning I hiked to the Wind Cave at Usery Park--I forgot how steep the trail was.  I wasn't a lone hiker on that mountain, though.  99+ other hikers and myself, including 20 tourists from China--all boys, made the trail seem like a highway.  I guess my good idea was everyone else's too, and you can't blame us---the weather is GORGEOUS!!!

 Of which I am very grateful!

Last week I hiked Hamburg Trail at Ramsey Canyon Preserve in Sierra Vista.  The colors of the trees were stunning.  There were small deer grazing along the path and they were not shy at all! Neither were the turkeys, and I told them they better hide because Thanksgiving was coming.  Hiking with a good friend, enjoying nature and even hiking a steep mountain out of my comfort range....all made a memorable trip.

Of which I am very grateful!


On Veterans Day I took four of my grandchildren hiking in the Superstition Mountains.  Wow, I was so surprised that the 3 year old and 5 year old could hike such a long hike with steep terrain.  Afterwards we stopped by Goldmine Ghost town and enjoyed being tourists, riding on the train and going on a mine shaft tour.  So much fun with grandchildren.

Of which I am very grateful!


I am so grateful for a healthy body.  It is a gift that, after years of eating Snicker candy bars, I feel so blessed to have. 

I am so grateful to live in Arizona where the weather is perfect to hike in during the winters.  I love the mountains that surround us, the freeway system that gets us to those mountains in 30-40 minutes and even the abundance of differing cacti to marvel at as I hike.

At this Thanksgiving time of year, I am indeed GRATEFUL!!!!!!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy,

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Parenting Tip - Cool Toys

My secret wish is to be a toy inventor.  I love to watch children play with toys, and I'm always interested in what toys keep their interest the longest.  My grandchildren in Virginia have Magformers.  These are sturdy plastic shapes that connect together because of magnets.  My four year old grandson played with these shapes for hours for two days straight, making different geometric designs and 3D shapes.  His two year old sister loved to play with them too.

 
 Bristle Blocks was another favorite toy.  I think my grandson must have made a whole fleet of airplanes.

 

A game that I play with my older grandchildren (ages 9-12) is a thinking, logic game, called Lotto.  You just need paper and pencil to draw up your own strategy page .  You are trying to guess your opponent's number sequence-made of 4 digits (or 5 digits when you're good at the game) and he is trying to guess yours.  Or if you have several people playing, you guess your neighbor's number who guesses his neighbor's number, etc.  You get a "hit" for the correct number in the correct position and a "miss" if the number is in the sequence, but not in the order you placed it.  It's kind of like Battleship, but you're not sinking ships, you're guessing a number sequence.  You can also play it with words.  You guess your opponent's 4 letter word (or 5 letters to make it harder).  I love this game!

The trouble with toys is, different children like to play with different toys. My out of state grandchildren recently came to visit and they played with different toys than my in-state grandchildren.  And two of them were both 4 year boys.  I guess I'll just have to keep buying toys because I know that some grandchild will play with them. Eventually.

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - Grandmothers

Grandmothers.  Unconditional love.   Special treats.   Toys.  Stories.

What is there about grandmothers that bring a lump to the throat, a wistful smile, and forgotten memory?

Grandmothers = LOVE
Grandmothers = ACCEPTANCE
Grandmothers = SECURITY

As a grandmother, I cherish notes and letters I've received from my grandchildren. 
      Kimball wrote, "Just to let you know, I'm still singing."
      January left a note, "This is the best summer I've ever had!"
     Graham sent a text picture, "Don't I look like Grandpa?"
     Elise emailed, "You should read this book, grandma."
     Dean cried until he could talk to grandma on the phone and then said, " aharrggdhhheapokn."

Remember your grandmother today.  Tell her you love her.  If she's gone, share with your children your memories of her.  Say a prayer of gratitude for her wonderful influence in your life.

Thanks for reading,
Cathy

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Parenting Tip - Homemade Toys

 I've been experimenting with HOMEMADE TOYS.  This is a subject that I've tinkered with ever since becoming a Mom.  And now that I'm a Grandma--I still find it a passion to do with my grandchildren.

I love looking for ideas on pinterest and on blogs, and then trying them out.  A lot of times I'm disappointed because my two grandsons, who live close, don't play with them as enthusiastically as I would like.  I blame it either on their age or sex.

 That's what happened with this toy.  The blog showed a toddler (a little girl) spending lots of time enjoying putting pipe cleaners in a strainer.  What a perfect age appropriate toy for a toddler--putting things into and out of spaces.  But my 2 and 4 year old grandsons didn't give it the time of day.  I tried it another day and sat on the floor with them and said, "let's make a silly hat!" I started poking the pipe cleaners into the holes, all the while oooing and ahhing.  They each contributed about 2 pipe cleaners and were done.
I took their pictures then put everything away.  Maybe if they were younger and were girls.......?


 This next idea, however, was a great success and
my grandsons have played with it several times and with different materials.  The first idea was to hammer golf tees into an empty styrofoam egg carton.  The boys had a great time doing that.  I also let them hammer the tees into one of those green styrofoam flowers blocks.  If you keep the cellophane around the styrofoam it works great but eventually it will start to crumble.

The next time I gave my grandsons an empty cardboard box.  I poked a series of small "starter" holes in a grid pattern, then let them hammer in the golf tees.  They really enjoy this activity and it is one they continue to want to do.  Yes!  Success!

Another simple homemade toy is colored popcycle sticks.  The boys and I will make elaborate paths for them to drive their toy cars on.  This continues to be a fun activity for them to do.
 

Stay tuned for the light box I made.   It has turned out to be a pretty good success, but one that I've had to tweak to make them interested in.

Thanks for reading.  Share any ideas you've come up with.

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - How to Shrink your World

Have you noticed how small the world is becoming?  With technology constantly upgrading, updating and up-smarting, we can communicate easily and immediately with anyone, anywhere, and at anytime.  This is GREAT NEWS if your family is spread out like mine is, and chances are that your family is spread out.  My siblings plus my own children live in 8 different states and 3 different time zones: AZ,CA,UT,TX,MN,IL,PA,VA.

So what is the GREAT NEWS about having your family spread out all over the entire United States?  The GREAT part is that we can still stay in touch with them through technology and creativity.

Let's brainstorm some ideas of things families can do to stay in touch with each other:

Birthdays. Of course, this is an easy way to stay in touch.  Birthday cards can be sent as well as gifts.  You should see me at Walmart lifting up toys and guessing what their weight is and how much postage it will cost.  My daughter-in-law recently told me her children are saving up money to purchase a big item they want.  She told me money would be more welcome than an actual toy.  Thank you.  Goodbye Walmart.

Buying and sending gifts online is another great alternative to buying and mailing birthday presents.  You can even email Amazon gift cards.  No postage or shipping!

My mother likes to make her own birthday cards on the computer using past pictures or baby pictures of the birthday person.  Wow, she is 85 years old and knows how to make cute computer birthday cards.  Technology sure has not passed her by!

What?  It's my birthday?  Come, on then, bring out the cake!

Last week my Dad had a birthday; he turned 91 years old.  One of his favorite songs is The Strawberry Roan.  Each of my siblings wrote a verse to the melody of this song that told about a specific time in his life.  Then when they called on the phone or skyped to tell him "happy birthday", their families sang their part of the song with their verse and chorus.  My Dad loved it.  He felt cherished and special.  And just as important, my brothers and sister and I felt a bond between us as we worked on this surprise for him.

How about writing a song for your Mom or Dad, or your daughter or husband or married son?  Find a cute melody like, "This is the Song that Never Ends" or "Frere Jacques"  and write new words to the melody.

Holidays.  My youngest daughter decided she would send her nieces and nephews something for every holiday this year.   I was babysitting my grandsons the other day and sure enough there was a package that contained hearts galore that she had "heart attacked" them with.

I do something different for Mother's Day.  I've never really liked this day and feel like everyone is "staring" at me all day. When my children got married and started having their own children, I, like all grandmothers, wanted to give them lots of unasked for advice. As one Mother's Day was approaching I had the inspiration come to me, that I could give them unsolicited advice every year on this day, because I was a mother and this was my gift to them.  I gave them notebooks to keep my advice in, and I've had so much fun giving advice each year!! I've given advice on "what to do instead of watching TV", marital tips, things to teach your children, funny things my kids said when they were children, and much more.  Each year I try to present my advice in a fun way, using grandchildren's faces, or Disney prince and princesses...whatever.
          They love the years when I write memories of them when they were children and the joy they brought me.

School Projects.  I've had grandchildren send me Flat Stanley and asked me to take him with me and and then send him back with photos of him in the places I've been (exotic places like the grocery store, hiking, you know....).  Cousins have also sent them to each other.

My grandson is holding Flat Stanley

 Babysitting.  I love to go out of town to help out when families have a new baby coming. Or one year my son and his wife went with the youth in their church on a 3 day hike and I went and stayed with my grandchildren.  What fun!  This is an opportunity for 24 hours of bonding that you normally don't get to have.  You can also take photographs while you're visiting, and put them together to make a little memory book.

The letter "A" for a memory alphabet book

Special Events. With children around, there are always special events you can invite family members to, if time and transportation allow it.  Things like baby blessings, baptisms, plays, or sporting tournaments are fun things to attend and bond with cousins, aunts and uncles and grandparents.My son and his family went to PA from their home in VA to attend the blessing of new niece.  The cousins had fun playing while the adults had fun talking and eating (of course). Be sure and send lots of pictures to the family members who can't come.

Skyping. This is a super good way to stay in contact with family members.  I even know of a grandma who gives her grandchildren piano lessons by skyping them (no, it's not me).  You can skype on birthdays and special occasions.  You can skype to share news, or even play games.  I've played card games with my grandchildren once or twice.

All my children skype with me on my husband's birthday so we can remember "grandpa" and make it special. It's really hard to skype and find a day and time when your family is in 3 different time zones like mine is.  We've discovered that the Sunday when our church has "General Conference" is a good time for us to all get together for a group skype.

My son-in-law has a program where you add things to the callers while you're skyping, such as a mustache on someone, or funny hair, glasses, or a spider.  It's hilarious!

Videos. It's so easy to take videos of your children playing the piano or singing or playing soccor.  What a great way to keep grandparents in the loop of what their grandchildren are doing.

It's also fun to take videos of cousins/grandchildren teaching you how to do something--"This is how you do a cartwheel", or "This is how you make a peanut butter sandwich".  How about, "This is how you make a rainbow bracelet"--they're so popular right now!

Photographs. It goes without saying that everyone loves to see pictures of distant cousins, grandparents or new babies.  You can even have fun with photos in a creative way.  One day my 3 year old grandson was taking pictures with my camera.  Needless to say there were lots of photos with close ups of something or other.  So I sent a batch of these pictures to his cousins and said to guess what the pictures were of.  I told them I would send a prize to the families with the answers.  Sure enough, soon the emails came with the guesses, and I mailed out a pack of gum to all the families.

Do you have a photo program where you can distort the faces?  I used a free one I found on the internet and have never laughed so hard as when I was distorting my grown kids faces for some project I was sending them. (I can't find that program now.  Anyone know of a good one?) Be sensitive in distorting faces, though. One of my granddaughters was not so happy with her face and it made her cry. 

One time my daughter sent "Where's Waldo?"photos to all the cousins.  She told what object was hidden in each of the pictures, then the cousins had to look at the photos and find the object.  Fun!

Can you find the red flashlight?

Phone Calling. Whoops, I almost forgot this one--it's so easy to do! My son used to call me every Sunday to catch up on things we were both doing.  I love talking with my daughters (they're in 3 different states). Sometimes we talk once a week, and other times 3 times a day!

After my husband passed away, my brother called me from Texas every month for a year.  This meant so much to me and reminded me of how close we were when we were growing up together.

Texting. What would we do without texting?  My children and I who live in the same town text each other with "sunset alerts".  We LOVE to see AZ sunsets.  My out-of-state children have recently texted me with their weather alerts (-30 today and no school).  It's so easy to text:  "I love you!" or "Thinking of you!" or "what's up?".  I especially love getting a text from a grandchild.

Sunset alert!

Did I forget cards/letters?  Duh?! One of my favorite letters I received was from my grandson a few months ago.  It said, "Der grama, Just to let you no I have ben singing a lot of songs!  Love Kimball
do you like the dexrrashin? [decorations-there were music notes around the edges]" 

 Ahhh! I keep that letter on my freezer.  (I had visited Kimball a few months before the letter came and we had enjoyed singing lots of songs together.  Did my heart good!)

 Okay, so this has been a really long post.  Sorry.  It takes a lot of work sometimes, to keep your family close to you.  But it's some of the most important work you can do--and so fun and rewarding!  Send your ideas of what your family does to stay close, so we can all get more good ideas.

Thanks for reading,
Cathy

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Parenting Tip - Pass on Your Heritage and Traditions

Everyone comes from somewhere. 

Duh, that was an intelligent sentence.  What I meant was, that if you trace your roots back far enough, you will find that you come from some country other than the United States.  It's fun to find out where that is.  For some families, it may be several countries, but no matter where your ancestors come from, it's often enlightening to see just where that is.

My mother's ancestors came from Sweden.  My mother is 100% Swedish and I am half.  My children are one quarter Swedish and my grandchildren are 1/8.  It is so heartwarming to see my grandchildren embrace their Swedish heritage as their parents pass on the traditions that they enjoyed as children.

Yesterday, December 13 was St. Lucia's Day.  This is celebrated in Sweden as the day when darkness will begin to recede and light will gradually stay more during the day.  It also commemorates a young girl, Santa Lucia, who brought food to the poor.  It is traditional to observe St Lucia's Day by dressing the oldest daughter in the family in a white dress, tied with a crimson sash. Candles are set into her crown, which is covered with lingonberry leaves.  She then wakens her family in the morning, bringing them rolls and a warm drink.

My aunt and her daughter would waken my family in this manner on St Lucia's Day when I was a child.  When I grew up, I dressed my eldest daughter, Faith, in the traditional white dress, sash and crown and we went around town waking up my family members and Swedish friends.  She was 3 when we started this tradition and carried it on until she was in junior high, then passed it on to her younger sister who passed it on to my last daughter.  This year, that daughter, (married -but with no children yet) made rolls and shared the tradition with her friends at work.

My eldest daughter-who just had a baby-shares this tradition with her children in their school classes.  Each year her 2 daughters dress in their white dresses and crowns and tell the history of St Lucia to their classmates.  Her son doesn't dress up, of course, but loves to share the day with his class also.

I got to go with my grandchildren to their school classes this year and share our tradition.  Their teachers were so welcoming and enthusiastic.  My daughter even has the students make their own paper crown headband, then they parade around the classroom while the music, Santa Lucia, is playing.  Each of the teachers get a plate of St. Lucia rolls and the students get a candy cane.

What traditions do you continue to use that have been passed down from your ancestors?


What traditions do you begin, that your borrow from something or someplace meaningful to you?

One of my sons served a two year  mission for our Church to Germany.  Presently he is writing his doctorate dissertation in a field of research having to do with Germany, and he has returned several times to Germany for research.   His family is connected to Germany on different levels.  Recently they began a German tradition of ...well, I can't remember.  Ammon, please comment and tell us about your German Christmas tradition.

 

Merry Christmas,

thanks for reading,

Cathy

 

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Parenting Tip - Egg Cartons and Golf Tees

I read a cute idea somewhere on the internet this summer that I tried with my grandsons and they loved it.  All you need is an empty egg carton, golf tees and a hammer, then this is what you do:

1.  Turn the egg carton upside
2.  Give hammer to child and watch his eyes light up in disbelief
3.  Hand child a golf tee and motion for him to hammer it into one of the upturned egg carton bumps
4.  Enjoy the smiles and happiness as grandson spends 30 minutes happily hammering tees into egg carton, opening carton to retrieve tees, and begin again.

I happened to have a foam egg carton and this made it really easy to hammer the golf tees in.  I think a cardboard egg carton might be more difficult, but once the holes are made, it's easy to re-hammer the tees into the same holes over and over again, which my grandson loves to do.

His little brother can't quite handle the hammering aspect of this activity, but he loves to push the tees into the holes of the upturned egg carton bumbs, then open the carton, take out the tees, and start pushing them in again.

Another thing my 3 year old grandson likes to hammer golf tees into is a square  floral foam--those green things you put in a vase and stick flowers into.  I bought a square one at the Dollar Tree and kept the plastic covering around it so it wouldn't disintegrate and make a mess.  You can hammer and re-hammer tees in it and it even has 4 sides so it should last forever. My grandson likes hammering tees into the floral foam even better than the egg carton.

 

So little money--so much happiness! Isn't life grand?!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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