2021 Mother’s Day Advice

Help your family accept each other’s differences and see the value in people being different.

There is so much discord in the world today. We saw it through the recent election, through the racial tension, and through the pandemic. We still see it with judging others for not wearing a mask, or for wearing a mask, for not liking or liking Biden, or for getting the vaccine or not getting it.

We can also see discord in our family members. Just because you are born in the same family doesn’t mean you like or dislike the same things. Your children have different personalities, likes and dislikes and tastes. But kids rarely give their siblings the freedom to be different from themselves or even see the VALUE of being different.

On Saturday morning, President Nelson said that as he has watched the ongoing renovation of the Salt Lake Temple from his office window, he has thought about “the need for each of us to remove, with the Savior’s help, the old debris in our lives.” He said doing this will enable us to become more worthy and help prepare the world for the Second Coming of the Lord.

“The gospel of Jesus Christ is a gospel of repentance,” he said. “Because of the Savior’s Atonement, His gospel provides an invitation to keep changing, growing and becoming more pure. It is a gospel of hope, of healing and of progress. Thus, the gospel is a message of joy! Our spirits rejoice with every small step forward we take.” (Church Newsroom)

I took this challenge to remove debris in my life and decided to repent of “judging others and to accept their differences”. Of course I’ve been trying to do that my whole life!! In his Sunday morning talk Pres. Nelson also asked us to “increase our faith”. I decided that one way to increase my faith was to add works—faith without works is dead. So in adding works to my faith that I could repent of the debris of judging others, I decided to think of a positive attribute about the thing or person I was judging.

For example, when I was judging a person for being so interested in politics-- that’s all they listened to or talked about, instead of judging them of being obsessed with politics, I thought instead how thankful I was that there were people who were interested in politics so they could be the watch dogs to protect our freedom.

It has been a game changer for me—adding the positive twist of seeing something good so I can accept others’ differences instead of judging them.

I hope you will accept my advice and perhaps have a family home evening lesson about accepting others, speaking specifically about accepting the people in YOUR family who are different from you.

Quiz

Give the following quiz and ask family members which of the things below they like to eat or like to do:

• Chocolate
• Cream cheese
• Guacamole
• Cheese
• Peas
• Get up early
• Stay up late
• Read books
• Write stories
• Play the piano
• Play the guitar
• Hike
• Watch movies
• Play video games
• Have a clean bedroom
• Doesn’t even see the clutter in a room
• Likes to garden
• Likes to ride bikes
• Good at art and likes to draw
• Interested in politics
• Run marathons and ironmans
• Interested in health
• Notices birds and listens to them sing
• Notices other people’s feelings
• Likes to be around people, have lots of friends
• Likes to do things by themselves or with 1-2 friends
• Likes pets
• Doesn’t want a pet

Object Lesson

You could have an object lesson on how people like different things and that’s okay. Suggestions for object lesson:

Buy different flavors of Oreo cookies and taste them to see which ones you like the best.

Terry recently bought several different Oreos and she loves the hazelnut ones the most. I don’t like the taste of hazelnut that much so I didn’t like those Oreos. We’re different but can still get along and love each other.

Buy vanilla ice cream and assorted add ons. Notice how family members choose different ones or different quantities of the add ons according to their tastes.

Buy different flavors of M&Ms.

I like the pretzel ones the best. Which ones do you like?

Chant

Remember: Fair’s not there, so STOP looking for it!

How about saying (in the same sing-songy rhythm):

We are all different and that it okay!

I love you! Mom

Thanks for reading, 

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - What Can I Do?

The last 3 months have been the strangest I have ever lived through.  I never thought in my wildest imagination that I would see the world shut down.  That businesses would close their doors.  That people would stay quarantined inside their homes for weeks and now months on end.  That my sons and son-in-law who live in 4 different states would be working from home.  That school marques would say, "School closed until further notice." That a pandemic the size of the whole world would bring the world intimately closer together.

And then, just as the world was beginning to loosen it's hold on the stringent methods it had to use to forestall the deaths of possibly millions of people, one person is brutally killed and everything is turned upside down again.

I have read many view points on the killing of the black man by the policeman and have wondered at the rioting, hate and crime that have insued.  I feel the pain of those people who are so often ridiculed, persecuted and unjustly accused and slandered.  I have felt embarrased and chastened by my own lack of understanding and ignorance of the racial issue.  I have pondered on what I can do.  Is there something that I can do to reduce the racial hatred that is consuming so many people? 

I am only one person and touch only a few people's lives.  My small pebble dropped in the pond only creates a small ripple.  But it does create a ripple.  It does move outward and who knows what other small ripples it may touch.

So what can I do? 

I can teach.
 My children are grown, but I have grandchildren and I can teach them to love and accept others who are different from themselves.  My nephew Bradley's wife, Kailei, posted on Facebook a list of books we can read to our children.  I borrowed one and read it to my grandchildren on Marco Polo today and bore my testimony that God loves all His children and made us different so we can help each other.

I can feel empathy.  A biracial family I know feels sad and threatened.  Wouldn't they appreciate someone recognizing their pain and hurt from past occasions and welcome a treat and note of love?

I can acknowledge another's humanness (yep, that's a word).  When I fly on a plane, I notice that the seats next to black, brown, Muslim, poor, and fat people are the last seats to get taken.  It is obvious that others are avoiding sitting next to them.  What if I chose to sit by someone different from me and acknowledged them?  What message would I be saying without saying a word?

I'm ready to look around and see what small things I can do.  I'm ready to listen to the still small voice whispher what small things I can do.  Because "by small and simple things are great things brought to pass." Alma 37:6

Thanks for reading,

Cathy
PS I chose to read this particular book to my grandchildren because of an experience I had several years ago and again just recently.  The Proudest Blue is about a young girl who begins 6th grade and wears a hijab for the first time.  Several years ago when I was teaching school, a mother came up to me on the first day of school with her daughter and said this was the first day she would be wearing a hijab to school.  She wanted me to talk to the class and explain a little bit about her daughter's new headwear so the children wouldn't make fun of her. I was happy to do this and happy to find out more of the reason for wearing a hijab.

And then recently, for the past 1 1/2 years I have been teaching English to women from Somalia who  all wear hijabs.  I have gotten to know these women and love them.  I admire their desire to dress modestly and respect their beliefs.

We are all different.  We are all loved by God. 


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