Parenting Tip - Transitions in Life

Last month I turned 70 years old.  I have dreaded this day for several years.  In fact, I have dreaded it so much, that I completely ruined my 69th year by thinking constantly of turning 70 and so I didn't even appreciate my last year in the 60's decade.

The reason I have dreaded turning 70 was because this puts me in the "old people's" decade.  I feel like those are the people with gray hair and achy joints, who stand up slowly, are hard of hearing and go to bed at 9 pm.  The world categorizes them as "has beens" and that is how I thought my life would become.

But my hair is still brown (with lots of gray).  My joints don't hurt (knock on wood).  I have noticed, though ,that I can't hear high pitches and some nights I'm anxious to go to bed early, so I see myself sliding into being "old."  But I have so much energy still.  I want to continue teaching music and I want to travel and be an important person in my children and grandchildren's lives.  I don't want to be old and gray and sit in a rocking chair.

And to that mental turmoil I was experiencing in comes the pandemic with quarantine and life routine changes, closures and major upheaval.  Now I really am sitting at home doing nothing day after day.  My nightmare is real!

So I had a mid-life crisis.  I had a melt down. I had to talk seriously to myself and my God and get a handle on this new life.  Here is what I came up with:

*Life is in 3 parts:  Single life - birth to marriage (23 years) Wife/Mother – (age 23-61, 38 years)

Widow/Retirement (age 61-99, 38 years)  These years are based on my life.

*The last third of my life is as long as my middle life! 

*I’ve already lived 9 years of  my third life and have possibly 25+ years more---that’s a lot of time. 

*What am I going to do with it?  (I come from ancestors who lived a long life, so that’s what I’m counting on)

*I’m definitely not a “has been”.  I have interests, passions and goals.  I have a lot more things I need to accomplish and do. 

*This is my third life and I need to relish it, enjoy it, and keep learning, serving and loving.

I felt better about my life after figuring all of that out.  But with COVID-19 I can’t keep teaching as a service missionary, I can’t serve at the temple, and I can’t teach my music groups.  Then I remembered my 2020 yearly goal is to ACCEPT the season of life I’m in, accept the season of the year that’s here and accept others as they are.  So I had to figure out what I could do during this time of life.  I felt like if I knew what my values were, and did things each day that involved them, then I would feel like I was accomplishing things.

The values I decided on were: *Learn something new *Serve others *Seek Christ *Teach others

 I realized I have been doing things which include those values and so I feel much better about how I am spending my days.  I have a purpose in life.  I have goals.  I'm learning lots of new music on my banjo, ukulele and mandolin.  I'm looking for Just Serve projects and doing them.  I love reading the scriptures and learning from Come Follow Me podcasts.  I'm teaching my grandchildren through the marco polo app and doing science projects at my home.

I AM NOT A HAS BEEN!  

Watch out people.  Here I come with 70 years experience.  Welcome to the next third of my life!!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

*****************************************************************************

 

Parenting Tip - Do it Alone

Those who know me, know  I love to hike.  A friend and I have been hiking together for the past 10 years or more.  Lately my hiking buddy has had some physical problems that have kept her indoors, and this has really cramped my style.  Summer is coming with it's hot weather and we quit hiking then, so I've been desperate to get outside while I can and enjoy nature and the wildflowers--which are plentiful this year.

I decided I would just have to hike by  myself and even wished for about 2 seconds that I had a dog I could take with me.  I don't feel it's safe to hike alone, but as I was thinking back to some of our past hikes, I realized there are lots of hikes that are so popular you feel like you're walking on the freeway.  So Friday I went to Pinnacle Peak in Scottsdale and hiked alone--I mean with the other 300 people that were either passing me or I passing them.

And it was fun.  It's a different experience to do things on your own.  I never do things on my own, and just stay home if I can't find someone to go with me somewhere.  It was ironic, though, as I was hiking I was listening to a podcast entitled "Go Someplace Alone" (Gretchen Rubin Happier).  They were listing the advantages of going places alone, and there I was walking, listening and experiencing what they were saying! 


Here are some of the advantages I experienced:
I could listen to podcasts driving to the hike and while I walked
I walked my own pace
I walked further than my friend and I usually do because she gets tired before I do
I stopped and rested whenever I wanted to on the steep sections
I looked at the scenery and enjoyed nature
I took pictures to send to my grandson and didn't feel guilty about taking "one more picture"
I jogged on the down sections

I did miss my friend, but I learned a valuable lesson:  I can have fun and experience things differently by myself.

One of the podcasts I listened to while driving to  my hike was about not comparing yourself with others.  Good thing I listened to it and I even laughed at myself, because I  constantly compared myself with the hikers running past me or looking more stylish than me in their hiking clothes.

And speaking of podcasts, I enjoy pondering and thinking about the things I've heard on a podcast after it's over.  I always benefit from doing this and get thoughts on how I can incorporate the ideas I've heard into my life. This is a time when the Spirit can teach and instruct me. Sure enough, a couple of ideas came to me as I hiked down the mountain at the end of the podcast.

These are my favorite podcasts:
Happier with Gretchen Rubin
All In - LDS Living
This is the Gospel - LDS Living
BYU Speeches

Oh, here's another fun thing I do by myself.  I'm taking mandolin lessons and my teacher gave me a book of duets.  It's hard to get with others to play duets, so I record myself playing the piano accompaniment then I play the recording while playing the mandolin. It's nerdy, but enjoyable.  Last week I took it a step further and recorded me playing the mandolin while playing the recording of the accompaniment and --whoolah!  I've got a recording of me playing the full duet.  It's amateurish, but it was so fun!

What are you NOT doing because you have no one to do it with?  Can you rethink it and do it alone?  Can you use technology to help you?  Try problem solving the issue and you may find out you enjoy things on a whole different level when you do them with your best friend--YOU!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

*********************************************************************************