Parenting Tip - You are Brave!

A young mom was talking to her single brother who had just sailed around the world on a sailboat by himself.  She told him how brave she thought he was but he said, "Yeah, that's what everyone tells me, but it's YOU that's brave.  It doesn't take bravery to sail around the world, just organization and a boat,  You are the brave one.  You work through problems in your marriage and don't give up and walk away. You teach your children continuously even when you don't think they're paying any attention to you.  What you are doing takes bravery!"

Here's what the dictionary says:
          noun: bravery

courageous behavior or character.
Synonyms:
courage, valor, intrepidity, nerve, daring, fearlessness, audacity, boldness, dauntlessness, stoutheartedness, heroism;  backbone, grit, true grit, pluck, spine, spirit,mettle; spunk

"the bravery witnessed here today will never be forgotten" 

courage, valor, intrepidity, nerve, daring, fearlessness, audacity, boldness,dauntlessness, stoutheartedness, heroism; 

backbone, grit, true grit, pluck, spine, spirit,mettle;  spunk

"the bravery witnessed here today will never be forgotten"

Well, yeah, that describes marriage, parenthood and life in general!  I immediately think of potty training with the adjectives "courageous behavior, nerve and fearlessness."

You will need lots of brave moments during parenthood.  Here are some situations that come readily to mind:
*  Teaching your 15 year old how to drive takes intrepidity and nerve.
*  Sending your first child off to kindergarten requires courage and valor.
*  Changing your baby's poopy diaper that he has taken off and finger painted his crib with, needs daring and grit, not to mention stoutheartedness
*  Inviting 10 giggly girls to your house for your daughter's birthday party will take fearlessness and dauntlessness.
*  Buying two dozen cookies for your child's Halloween party at school, then going back to the store to buy a poster board for your jr high school daughter's science project due tomorrow plus taking in dinner to a neighbor with a new baby requires pluck, spine and dauntlessness.

The sentence that the dictionary supplied "the bravery witnessed here today will never be forgotten" could be paired with so many scenarios.

Mom, age 34, just finished mopping the floor, only to have muddy footprints tracked across it by her 3 and 5 year old sons who have been outside playing in the mud from the recent rain storm. Mom  bit her tongue and refrained from screaming, yelling and throwing things.
The bravery witnessed here today will never be forgotten.
or
Dad, age 40, walks in the door from a tiring day at work to find two sick children who have both just upchucked all over the new couch and carpet.  Upon looking for his wife, he finds her sick in bed doing the same thing. Dad cleans up the messes, opens a can of chicken noodle soup for dinner, washes the dishes and tells his wife he will take off work tomorrow.  
The bravery witnessed here today will never be forgotten.

It takes courageous behavior--bravery--to be a parent who is on call 24/7, rain or shine, day or night, feeling healthy or not.  It takes bravery to even bring children into this world with all its skewed sense of right and wrong and what is important in life.  It takes bravery plus faith and hope to go through each day with all its myriad challenges and expectations. It takes bravery to be a stay at home mom, fighting boredom, repetitiveness and un-appreciation from your family.  And it takes bravery to leave your children every day to go to work because it's what you have to do.
 
But you know what? The bravery witnessed every day by what you do will never be forgotten. Not by God who loves you, or eventually by your children and husband nor even by you, now that you know how BRAVE you are.

So stand a little taller.
                      Smile a little longer.
                                                And get out there again and do it.  Because:

Thanks for reading, 

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - Can I say YES Now?

In my last post I talked about how I had learned to say NO, and how good it felt.  Now let's talk about saying YES, and how good that can feel.

The holidays are upon us.  First comes Halloween, closely followed by Thanksgiving, and then Christmas comes rushing in like a whirlwind with all its traditions, madness and overcrowded days.   Sometimes I feel like hiding until it's all over.  It's not that I don't love the holidays, it's just that I get caught up in the busyness of decorations, food, gifts, traditions and worldly expectations to have everything "perfect" and to do it all.  Pinterest, Instagram, and Facebook give a trillion cute, cute ideas to do and I want to do them all.

I've learned an important truth, though, and it has been my children that have taught it to me.  When they reminisce about holiday traditions, sometimes they'll mention things we use to do as a family when they were young that they remember us doing every year, like going to the mountains to cut our own Christmas tree.  But guess what?  We didn't do that every year.  In fact, we only did it 3-4 times.

What does this mean to you and me?  We can have cherished traditions, but we can space them out without losing their traditional feel.  Do you have a tradition of going to see the zoo lights every year?  It's expensive, so only go every 3 years.  Do you always make and decorate Christmas cookies but this year you are dreading it?  Skip it.  Do it next year.  Does your family love to do the 12 Days of Christmas for a secret family, but you're wondering if you have enough energy to pull it off this year?  Wait for another year or two to do it, so it will become fun and exciting again.

I don't have a lot of storage space in  my home, so I have limited my Christmas decorations to 4 large plastic tubs.  But, of course, more decorations have slowly been spreading out and gaining more momentum and filling up other shelves and closets.  Last year I didn't put up several decorations and didn't miss them.  This year I'm thinking of decluttering some of my decorations.  I inherited a gorgeous collection of tall, Victorian Santa Clauses that take up a lot of space to display.  Then I also have a collection of Nativity scenes.  So when both collections are brought out to display with all the other decorations, I literally start to feel claustrophobic.

I've had a stern talking to with myself and decided I'm really going to limit my decorations this year. I'm only going to put up my 3 most favorite Santas and only 3-5 of the Nativities.  When you have a small house like mine, you really should simplify.  So I'm going to.

Wait, I started out by saying I was going to talk about saying YES.  But it sounds like I'm saying NO to a lot of things such as decorations and traditions.  In actuality, I am saying to myself, "YES, you may have a simple, meaningful, spiritual, family holiday this year, and this is how you will do it.  You may choose 3 traditions you like the most (or you may start 1 new one) and you may choose your most loved decorations to put up.  You will say YES to empty unscheduled blocks of time during the days and weeks so that you may say YES to unexpected things that come up or to people that need your help. You will say YES to enjoying being with family and friends because you are not rushed and frenzied trying to do it all and be it all to everyone.

Ah.....it feels so good to say YES!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy
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Parenting Tip - It Feels so good to say NO!

During dinner several years ago, the phone rang and I answered it.  It was a teacher from my neighborhood school asking me if I could substitute for her tomorrow.  Arrgghhh, I had things planned for tomorrow, but how could I say no?  She wanted ME!  She wanted ME to solve her problem and teach her class because I was so creative and wonderful and ...and....and....But I had things to do tomorrow and really couldn't and didn't want to.  So, in agony of not being able to help her, I said no.  And in a flash I felt so much relief and happiness and realized a very important truth: she didn't want ME, she just wanted SOMEONE to help her solve  her dilemma--she didn't really care WHO it was.

I immediately burst into song and danced back to the dinner table singing at the top of my voice, "It feels so good to say NO and not feel guilty!"  My family starred at me and just continued eating.  But I kept singing my song again, and explained, "I finally get it.  People want someone to help them out of their problems, and if I say no, they'll just find someone else to help them.  They're not paying me a compliment because I'm the only one and the best one. I've been so prideful all these years, but realize the truth of the matter now."

And that's how I learned to say NO.

It's always been hard for me to stick up for myself.  I was a walk-all-over-her sort of person for many many years. I was taken advantage of because I was nice and didn't want to disappoint people or not help them. I considered myself a wimp.   But gradually I started noticing and admiring people who stood up for themselves, who set boundaries and limits and knew what they could do and were willing to do.  I wanted to be one of those kind of people.  Strong in their beliefs and actions.  Self-assured and self-confident.  And that meant saying NO when it was needed.

Recently I read an article that said when you say NO to something, then really you are saying YES to something else. And when you say YES to something, you are naturally saying NO to other things. So years ago when I was substituting and my children were still in school, if I said Yes to teaching, then some days that would mean I would be saying no to getting the laundry and shopping done and preparing a peaceful dinner.  Sometimes it was good to say yes, but other weeks I should have said no more often.

What are some other NO/YES outcomes?
NO to video/computer time - YES to creative, imaginative children
NO to snacking, candy - YES to healthy lifestyle (ouch, that one always gets me!)
NO to lax, inconsistent bedtime routine - YES to more peaceful evenings
NO to excessive fast food eating - YES to more money and healthier eating
NO to hours on blog/instagram/pinterest/facebook reading - YES to non-comparing yourself with others and feeling happier with your life
NO to judging others - YES to accepting others with different ideas
......and the list can go on and on.

One other idea on how to say NO that I wished I would have known years ago when I was a wishy washy wimp and that is, stall for a moment when someone asks you to do something that you don't want to or think it best not to do.  Say very nicely, "Let me check my calendar."  Then check that calendar and if you want to say NO, you sweetly say, "Oh I'm sorry, I have something scheduled for then."  They don't have to know that you don't have something officially written down.  Because remember the NO/YES consequences.  If you say no to them, you're saying yes to your children for being able to meet their needs that morning or yes to reading a book because you really need some downtime.  It sounds so more convincing to say, "Oh, I'm not available" than "Oh, I'm reading a good book and will lose it if I don't take some time for myself."

It sounds like I'm suggesting you say NO all the time.  I'm not.  I wrote this blog post for me, basically, because I need to say NO to myself more often than to other people.  I love to teach and love to babysit my grandchildren and love to do this and love to do that.  And I want to do it all.  But I have to remind myself that when I say, "YES, I think I'll teach more ukulele or music classes", I'm really saying, "NO, I won't have time to babysit my grandchildren when I'm needed."

Judge wisely when you say NO or YES and remember there will always be a YES or NO answering consequence.

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - "But it's so hard!"

I was teaching a music class with a group of children who have autism.  We had a song about following directions and had done several activities during the class time having the students practicing following musical directions. As I summed up the class I reminded the students to try and follow directions the rest of the day.  The teacher then asked the students to pick up their chairs and take them back to their desks.  Marshall did not do this and the teacher said, "Marshall, didn't you just learn about following directions?" Marshall responded with a frustrated voice saying, "but it's so hard to follow directions!"

Don't we all feel that sometimes?  It's hard to follow directions whether it's how to install a program on our computer or a complicated new recipe, or even helping a child with his math.

Children feel the same way, of course.  So how can we help them learn this invaluable skill?  We can try to think and feel as a child.  We can use our imagination, use games, toys, music, and play to make it fun. We can use incentives or set family rules and be consistent in following them.

Time to get in the car and the fight to get the seat belt buckled starts?  Try some imagination: "Hurry, hurry, here come the tickle bees.  Get in the car and get buckled before they start tickling you!"
OR
"Hey, Mister Bus Driver, are you going to drive this bus?  Get in and get buckled and start your wheels goin' round"

Toys all over the floor?  Play a game.  My mother was a master at playing army and giving commands to the soldier grandchildren. She would salute each one, give them a specific thing to do (pick up all the blue toys), then have them report back to her for their next assignment.

As a mom, I wasn't in the mood to play games, I just wanted the bedrooms cleaned up.  But I was willing to make it fun, .  So I would hide M & Ms under books, clothes and toys on the floor and tell my kids they could eat the candy they found, but they had to put the item away first.  Worked like a charm!

Time to practice the piano?  Give incentives for following directions to "get in there and practice".  Do your child's chore while she practices (I don't know how many dishes I washed for my daughter when it was her turn to wash, but she still needed to practice the piano).

Other incentives could be, "let's read library books when the toys get cleaned up" or "after your homework is done you can go out and play".  An incentive to clear the table or wash the dishes quickly after dinner when I was a kid was this family rule:  if you get all the dishes washed before the person whose job it is to clear the table gets finished clearing, then they have to wash those dishes.  I caught my brother only a couple of times on this rule before he learned to do his job before starting to play.

Here's a tough direction to follow:  be reverent during Church.  Remember, this is an ongoing learning situation and different age groups will be better at it than others.  But try this family rule:  if you are not reverent in Church, you need to practice being reverent when you get home. Put Church music on and have your child sit quietly on the couch for one or two songs (or more, depending on their age).  You as the parent may need to sit with your young child or even hold him on your lap while listening to the music and practicing being reverent.  Keep in mind the child's age. Perhaps a 4 year old would sit for 4 minutes while a 10 year old would sit for 10 minutes. This would not be appropriate for a one or two year old. They would not connect the events from Church to couch sitting.

Following directions.

Yes sometimes it's SO HARD!

But what a valuable skill and habit to learn--for adults and children!

Thanks for reading,
Cathy
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Parenting Tip - "Not Shrinking" is More Important Than Surviving

Elder Neal A. Maxwell served as a member of the Quorum of the Twelve Apostles of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints (Mormon) for 23 years.  His last few years were spent painfully battling leukemia.  After undergoing chemotherapy, he was asked by Elder David Bednar, also an apostle in the LDS church, what lessons he had learned through his illness.  Elder Maxwell replied, "I have learned that not shrinking is more important than surviving."

Not shrinking?  What does that mean?

        The scriptures say:  

“Therefore I command you to repent—repent, lest I smite you by the rod of my mouth, and by my wrath, and by my anger, and your sufferings be sore—how sore you know not, how exquisite you know not, yea, how hard to bear you know not.

“For behold, I, God, have suffered these things for all, that they might not suffer if they would repent;

“But if they would not repent they must suffer even as I;

“Which suffering caused myself, even God, the greatest of all, to tremble because of pain, and to bleed at every pore, and to suffer both body and spirit—and would that I might not drink the bitter cup, and shrink—“Nevertheless, glory be to the Father, and I partook and finished my preparations unto the children of men”.  D&C 19:15-19

Again, the phrase, not shrink.  We know Christ did not shrink from the agony he suffered for us in the Garden of Gethsemane or on the hill of Golgotha. He did not shrink and he did much more than "survive".  He overcame!  He was triumph!  His path led to a glorious reward.  And while He was on that earthly path, He walked in love and humility, taught with gentleness and compassion and set the perfect example for us to follow.

How can we apply this concept to our lives, to our daily struggles, to our trials.  How can we not shrink and do more than just survive?

When we are tested, when we have situations arise that are not fun, be it financial loss, health issues, problems with children, depression or a myriad of other concerns, how do we face these situations?  By not shrinking from them, I picture us as meeting our problems head on.  We deal with them.  We have faith that they will pass and that a wise Father in Heaven will give us strength to get through them and learn from them.  

If we don't shrink, we have patience and longsuffering.  "But how long is longsuffering suppose to last," I ask myself?  "I do have patience.  But come on, how long do I have to have patience," I ask impatiently?????

If we don't shrink from our problems we are cheerful as we go through them.  We think positive thoughts, and are kind when we feel miserable, are gentle when we want to hit something or someone and refuse to let the adversary lead us into depression and bitterness. 

When I have big trials and problems, not shrinking is my goal.  But what about those little pesky or middle sized trials and problems.  What about a house too small for your family or a 3 year old who doesn't want to be potty trained?  What a spouse who doesn't agree with your spending values or a teenager who wants to be more independent? What about your boredom in staying home with the kids or your jealousy of your friend's slim body? Here's one, what about what to fix for dinner every night when you hate to cook?

The answer to not shrinking is the same for big or small problems and trials.  Face them.  Problem solve them. Pray for strength, insight and faith to overcome, learn and grow. Listen to the answers that will come.

Not shrinking is more important than surviving.  Surviving means you got through it.  Not shrinking means you were faithful, you learned and you made it to the end with glory and honor.

Here's to not shrinking!!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - What are you teaching?

Here is a great article that every parent needs to read.  The whole article is here.  The following is  an  excerpt:

"I am an occupational therapist with 10 years of experience working with children, parents, and teachers...I have seen and continue to see a decline in kids’ social, emotional, academic functioning, as well as a sharp increase in learning disabilities and other diagnoses.  

        Here is why…"
 The author, Victoria Prooday, then goes on to explain what we are doing to our children when we let them use too much technology, don't let them wait for things they want, don't say NO to our children, don't let them get bored and let them constantly be entertained.

Parents, what are you teaching your children, either by your intentional teaching or by the absence of teaching?

Let your children be bored, let them play, play, play.  Tell them no.  YOU be the parent, not them.

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Music Tip - I Will by Hilary Weeks

Our girls who were going to girls camp this summer learned this song by Hilary Weeks.  I simplified it so they could learn to play it themselves.  Such a powerful song with a much needed message at this time in their young teenage lives!

Let me know if you like it. Click to get the pdf.

Music Tip - Someone Like You

I just finished arranging Adele's, "Someone Like You".  If you would like my simplified arrangement of it,  Click here to get the pdf.

Leave a comment if you like it.
Thanks,
Cathy

Music Tip - Piano Music 7 Years

I've been busy writing music for my piano students, that is, arranging and simplifying popular songs.  They love them.  But I've been traveling too, so I haven't got as many songs done as I would like to. Here is my version of 7 Years by Lukas Graham. Leave me a comment if you like it. If you would like a pdf copy, click the link.

Parenting Tip - Parenting Teenagers

 You may have already seen or heard about Josh Shipp.  I just listened to one of his videos that was posted on Facebook--the place I see all the upcoming news and info.  I liked what I heard. He is being called the "teen whisperer".   He speaks common sense and comes from a background of being a troubled youth himself.

As my husband and I parented our children through their teen years, I always remembered what my mother said when she had 4 teenagers growing up in our home at the same time-- myself, my sister and two brothers.  She said,  "I loved having you all as teenagers.  You were the best kids, and it was so fun to be around you." 

Now that's NOT what the majority of parents would say.  And I don't think my siblings and I were perfect or abnormal.  But my parents had taught us to be respectful, honest, have faith in God and know that we were children of God and that He had a plan for our lives.  We did experience ups and downs and normal teenage disagreements with our parents, but we respected each other, listened to advice from our parents and more importantly, they listened to us.  We cooperated together, we supported each other and we loved each other and had fun together.

When I had my teenagers, I experienced the same thing.  They were good kids.  They were funny, respectful, hardworking, compassionate, and good students.  They knew God loved them and had a purpose for their lives.  We were blessed with children that would listen to us and honor our decisions. 

We were firm and a lot more strict than other parents.  I know, because they told me--often.  But all seven children have also told me later as adults, that they were glad we were so strict.  They were glad they had boundaries and limitations.

Teenagers have a lot of peer pressure to deal with.  But so do YOU as parents.  Don't cave into your peer pressure, Moms and Dads.  Don't go with the flow and let your children go and do what others are doing, just because it is easier and your adult friends are letting their children do things you feel uncomfortable with.  Have rules in your home.  Let your family set those rules and help everyone to understand why the rule is as it is.

If your teen is having mental health problems, medical problems or acting different, get help--don't let it slide until the problem is worse.

But most importantly, ENJOY your teenagers! 

Mom Puts Zip Ties On Her Baby’s Stroller, The Reason? Genius!

 I love it when someone problem solves issues and makes it easier for others.  View this video for wonderfully easy things to enhance your stroller use.

Mom Puts Zip Ties On Her Baby’s Stroller, The Reason? Genius!:

Parenting Tip - Dealing with Anxiety, OCD and Depression

I have recently heard of so many people, of all ages, dealing with anxiety, OCD and depression.  This is such a hopeful and uplifting article.  Please read.

Thanks,
Cathy

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Parenting Tip - Will They Remember?

For the past 3 months I have been teaching home schooled children how to play the ukulele.  They have been coming to my home once a week to learn songs, and now for the past month we have been performing them at retirement centers.

Yesterday I took my ukulele group to a private home to sing and play for the residents living there.  The husband and wife of this home care for 6 elderly women plus the wife's mother.  You immediately felt love and peace upon walking into their home.

The husband introduced all the women and told us their names and a little about their backgrounds.  All were wonderful women who had accomplished much in their lives.  One had taught school for 40 years, a couple of the women were musicians, one had something to do with the opera, and one had served with her husband when he was a mission president for the LDS Church and when he was temple president of the Snowflake LDS Temple.  Then the man said, "but they won't remember anything after you leave, so don't worry about making any mistakes!  In fact you could come back tomorrow and they wouldn't remember you."

We had a wonderful time playing for them, and I am always energized after these performances and visits with the elderly.  They are so sweet and appreciative of everything you do and they LOVE the children.  We were invited to come back often.  But as I drove home I kept thinking, "So what's the use.  Why did I spend time going there and why should I go back again if they won't even remember that we have been there."

I know deep inside that we should show kindnesses to everyone, but what if they forget our kindnesses?????  Then I thought  if my mother or father were suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's, I certainly would want people coming and visiting them to bring them joy and happiness, even if it only lasted a half hour.

I was thinking about all these things while driving, and was almost home and sitting at a green light, waiting to turn left, when I saw a little tiny dog running on the street between two oncoming cars.  It suddenly veered into one of the cars and was hit and immediately killed.  I thought about how important one moment was to him--life and death.  Then I thought about how important moments are to those who won't remember with their physical minds, but will remember with their spiritual minds.

I thought about babies who won't remember the love and singing and hugs and kisses we lavish on them as infants.  I thought about the toddlers and preschoolers who won't remember the picnics and toys and games we played with them for countless hours. 

But though they may not remember the exact moments we shared, they will remember the feeling of love they received from us and the special ties they have as they continue growing and begin to remember fun times. 

It's those drops of water, adding one at a time that makes an ocean.  It's the love and strength of that love that ties them to us forever.  And when they are parents, and hugging and kissing their babies, they'll know. In the eternities they will remember.  It is so worth it to make the memories now!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Music Tip - Clocks,simplified

Here's a great song preteens and teens like to learn.  Teach your students how to analyze and see patterns in music.  It makes it so much easier to learn songs that way.  Notice that in the first measure, it is a 1st inversion of a D chord that is played as a broken chord, but backwards.  You play it 3 times in a row (except on the 3rd repeat you don't play the last note)

The 2nd and 3rd measures are identical, and again, they are just broken chords played backwards (A minor 2nd inversion).  The 4th measure is an E minor chord (in root position) played backwards too.  Then you repeat all four measures.  A piece of cake!

Teach the next section by playing the melody.  Notice that the melody is played 3 times, but the rhythm is a little different each time because of the words.

I love to help children analyze and quickly learn a song that could have been hard to learn without noticing the patterns first.

Enjoy!

Thanks for reading,
Cathy

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Music Tip - Don't Stop Believing

Here's another 4 chord song to teach your student or child.

I teach the right hand chords on the first line and help them identify the kind of chords they are, ie. G 2nd inversion, D root position, e minor 2nd position, C root position.  Have them play the chords several times, then you play the left hand with them.

Next, have them play the left hand. On the second measure they will need to move their 3rd finger to the E.
Duet the first line with student playing left hand and teacher/adult playing the right hand.  This makes it so much easier to play before they put hands together, which is the next step.

Teach lines 2 and 3 with learning the left hand chords first. Then follow the same procedure of dueting it, they play right hand, duet, they play both hands.

The last two lines can be taught, notating that on measure 3 the right hand needs to move the 2nd finger to the B.

Enjoy!

Music Tip - Popular 4 chord Songs

I've been teaching my piano students chord inversions to prepare them for playing the 4 chord songs I've been giving them.  My pre-teen and teen piano students are loving them--the songs, not the chord inversions!

For some students, I give them just the chords for hands alone until they are comfortable playing them--usually one week--then I give them the whole song.  For other students, I give them the whole song, but first have them play the chords, hands alone, so they can understand the chord progression.  I also reinforce the correct fingering and point out that it is always the 2nd inversion (for the left hand) that changes and uses the 2nd finger instead of the 3rd finger.

The whole point to these songs is to show a simple 4 chord progression that is repeated throughout the song, thus making the song EASY to learn and FUN to play.  It "hooks" my reluctant learners. 

"Piano Man" is a popular song that I give my students first.  I teach the left hand chords, then I play the melody while they play the chords.  This gets them interested in learning both hands, plus, if they're not familiar already with the melody, it helps them learn what it sounds like. The first week all they practice are the left hand chord progressions, which sound pretty cool and they all come back playing them really well.

The second week I play the melody while they play the left hand again, just to reinforce the song/melody.  Then I have them play just the melody line by themselves.  Next I play the left hand chords while they play the melody.  Dueting a song is SO IMPORTANT because it helps the student hear how the left and right hand coordinate the sounds together. Finally, I have them play both hands together.  This whole process takes about 5-8 minutes of their lesson time. They go home and practice both hands together and whola, when they come back the next week, it always sounds pretty darn good!  I can tell they have practiced--which is my aim!

By the way, did I mention I have been using my smart phone during piano lessons a lot?  I use it to introduce a popular song I want my student to learn to play.  I play the song on you tube (finding appropriate views, first) so they can get interested in the song.  Sometimes they've heard it before and sometimes they haven't, but hey, getting to watch a you tube cover song during piano lessons is a real grabber and motivator for my students!

Here is my arrangement of "Piano Man".  Enjoy!!

Thanks for reading, offer any suggestions you might have on the music.
Cathy

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Parenting Tip - Angels to Help Us

There is a great article on LDS Living that reprints some of Sister Wendy Nelson's writings in her newest book, "Covenant Keepers: Unlocking the Miracles God Wants for You".

She tells the poignant story of a woman deep in despair, ready to take her own life, when she happens to walk by a bookshelf that has a picture of herself as a young mother with her children.  The picture has been lost for years, but now there it is exactly at the moment she needs to see it.  She realizes that those young children, though now grown with children of their own, still look to her with trust and need her continued guidance.  She realizes that she could never leave her children and "was amazed at the precise timing when the Lord sent His angels to find the framed, formerly lost photograph and place it exactly where she would see it. Exactly when she needed to see it."

I want to read the book!  It tells us how we can ask for angels to help us, how God wants to help us through His angels and who those angels are.

I experienced angels helping me after my husband passed away and I was left to live alone with my mother-in-law who was living in my home. I don't like to cook and feel very inadequate and so my husband had been the cook for lots of our meals all of our married life. Now I was the cook, and had to prepare meals for my aging mother-in-law. For a week or more after the funeral, every time I thought with a sinking feeling in my stomach, "Oh no, what shall I fix for dinner?" immediately a meal would come to mind that I felt qualified to fix.  This happened so often and so quickly after my thought, that I knew I was receiving help from the other side.  I think my maternal grandmother, who was a professional cook, was helping me.  I know she was.  What a tender mercy from a loving Father in Heaven who could have looked at my need and viewed it as something trivial, but instead loved me enough to help me in my needs.

Sister Nelson quotes Elder Jeffrey R. Holland’s April 2010 general conference address where he counsels us to, “Ask for angels to help you.”

As we enter into covenants with the Lord and try our best to uphold those covenants, we are entitled to received the blessings of ministering angels.  I feel I need to ask more often for help and then I need to thank Heavenly Father as He gives me the help I ask for.

How about you?

Thanks for reading,
Cathy

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Parenting Tip - How to Help an Anxious Child

I'm a worry-wart.  At least I use to be.  I inherited my worrying from my mother.  I also learned how to stop worrying from my mother, and it has saved me a ton of stress and anxiety.

Children can also be worriers.  This article gives some great advice to parents on how to help their children cope with worry and anxiety.

This article has helpful phrases you can say to your child such as, "How big is your worry?", or "Can you draw your worry?"  Acknowledge your child’s fear without making it even more frightening by using the word “AND.” After the word “and” you can add phrases like, “You are safe.” or “You’ve conquered this fear before.” or “You have a plan.”

 Sometimes words won't help an anxious child.  But there are still things you can do to calm your child, such as whispering about something unrelated, or singing, or hugging.  Read this article to find more suggestions that might work with your child.  Not every child will respond and be comforted by the same things.

And as a last resort, my mother and I always comforted ourselves when worrying, by remembering that everything we worried about, never actually took place.  So we had our own "worry insurance" and it worked!

Thanks for reading,
Cathy
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Parenting Tip - The Little Acts of Love

Edward Kinghorn is a licensed Neuropsychologist and is currently the Psychology Department Chair at BYU Hawaii. He gave a talk telling about his experiences working as a counselor with the Red Cross after the attacks on the World Trade Center in New York in the Fall of 2001. 

Professor Kinghorn describes working with a Dr. Frances Menlove, who was a seasoned and experienced clinician.  She later was asked to give a guest sermon to the Lincoln City Congregational Church, United Church of Christ, on March 10, 2002.  These are her words describing what she saw inside the St. Paul's Chapel which is near Ground Zero.  St. Paul’s had been set aside as a sanctuary for workers who were still toiling around the clock to clear the debris of the Twin Towers and to search for human remains. "The entire chapel was covered with banners, hand-lettered posters, small and large pictures by school children expressing thanks and appreciation.  There were notes taped to the sides of very pew, up and down the aisle.  Several Banners hung from the balconies.

One four-by twelve-foot pennant had a multitude of hand-drawn green mittens, each signed by a child, with a headline that said “Warm your hearts with our mittens.”  Another huge streamer lined up dozens of red children’s hand prints to form the stripes of an American flag.  There were notes in the pews.  The one tucked in by me said: “Dear Hero, thank you for making us safe.  I like soccer.  I don’t like baseball.  Do you like soccer?  Your new friend, Craig.”

The altar was the only place unadorned by posters, notes and banners.  Several votive candles were burning.  In front of the altar, a flute player from the New York Symphony played lilting melodies.  There was a lot of quiet activity.  Along the back wall of the chapel sandwiches and soup were being served.  Along the left side of the chapel, tables held first-aid supplies, candies, lip balm, socks, aspirin—anything someone might want coming in from the cold after a shift of spirit-wrenching labor.  There was a bowl of power bars, each with a homemade valentine wrapped around it and held tight with a rubber band.  All were free for the taking.  In front of me, one man was lying down on the pew, apparently asleep.  Others were sitting in the pews eating, or just resting.  I didn’t know then that these workers had found four more bodies that morning.

A small enclosed area about eight feet square caught my attention on the right side of the chapel.  A large bronze plaque announced that this was George Washington’s pew, the place he worshiped on the day of his inauguration, April 30, 1789.  Right next to this official plaque was a large, carefully printed sign “Foot Care.”  The workers were having trouble with their feet, so it was decided to devote George Washington’s pew to “Foot Care.”  Each day a podiatrist volunteered.  One worker had his shoes off and another one was waiting to be examined as I sat scrunched in my own pew.

I remembered the Gospel of John:  Jesus got up from the table and tied a towel around himself.  Then he poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet and to wipe them with the towel that was tied around him.  After he had washed their feet, had put on his robe, and had returned to the table, he said to them, “I have set you an example that you also should do as I have done to you” (v. 15)."

I was so impressed with this talk and thought about all the school teachers who were aching to do something,-- anything, to express their love and support to the survivors, to the families who were devastated and to the workers still addressing the horror of Sept 11.  I pictured the teachers talking to their students and deciding on what small act of service they could do.  I pictured the children coloring pictures, writing notes, and making valentines to cover a power bar and wrapping a rubber band around it, never knowing the impact their service would make.  Never knowing that a whole church would be covered with small acts of service.  Never knowing that I would read of their acts years later and still be profoundly touched by them.

Sometimes we never know how our actions make a difference in someone else's life. I had the privilege of  hearing how one small act of mine affected a friend. I had taken my teenage neighbors to the hospital to play our instruments and sing for my friend's husband.  He was in quarentine and we had to dress in special robes to enter his room.  He passed away several months later.  My friend wept as she told how, what I viewed as a small act of service, had brought so much love and comfort to her and her husband.

Valentine's Day is coming.  What can you and I do to brighten someone's day with a genuine message of love?
The first Valentine's Day after my husband passed away, my next door neighbor brought me flowers.  She said that was what my husband had done for her the first Valentine's Day after her husband had passed away. I never knew that he had done that.

Love.  Little Acts of Love. By small and simple things are great things brought to pass.

Thanks for reading,

Cathy
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Parenting Tip - Chords for Your Family Song

I wrote a Music Tip blog post a few months ago about chord progressions and how popular music is so full of them.  Lots of rock songs use a 4 chord progression that is repeated over and over again. The chord progressions use root chords as well as 1st and 2nd inversions.  You don't really need to know what those kind of chords are to get the idea of this blog post, but I'll explain briefly.

A root chord is built on the 1st note of the scale (let's say C) then skips a note and uses the next note (E), then skips a note and uses the next note (G).  So C,E,G are the notes played in the root chord.  BUT, you can move their positions around.  If you "invert" the C and put it on top, you have a 1st inversion: EGC.  If you again invert the bottom note to the top, you have a 2nd inversion: GCE.  And if you do it once more, you're back to the root position CEG.  So you can tweak the chord and make it sound a little different, but you're still using the 3 basic notes.

Interesting, huh?

As I have been analyzing music, I have found the root chord plus the inversions EVERYWHERE!  In popular songs, in classical songs, in hymns, in folk songs.......and the reason is because those chords are the building blocks, the basics, the foundation which the music is built on.

I've been trying to get my students to internalize and understand and identify these chords inversions.  Why?  Because they can learn their songs so much easier.  They already know the chords, they know the notes, they know the fingering, and they can get right on to learning the right hand notes.  It makes learning to play the piano so much more enjoyable and easier when you already know the basics.

There are 73 different songs that all use the same chord progression.  The melodies are completely different, but the basic chord structure is exactly the same ( I would give you the you tube link to a funny group who demonstrates and sings these songs, but there's a lot of raunchy stuff there too, so I won't).

Which brings me to what I was thinking about this morning.  Those basic chords are like the basic things we are told to do in Church. Have family scripture reading.  Say family prayers.  Have Family Home Evening. Each family is different, so we sing a different melody according to our individual and family's needs, but we are still playing the same chords in the same progression.

Families with small children will read the scriptures in a different way than families with teenagers will. Empty nesters will read their scriptures different from the way a person living alone will.  But we will ALL read our scriptures.  The same holds true for how we hold Family Home Evening.  Get your family together, learn together, enjoy time together, but do it how it works best for your family, right now in your present circumstances. Raising a family is so much more enjoyable and easier when you know what foundation you should base it on. Your children will learn to sing their song so much easier when the basic "chords" are embedded in their routine. 

What does your family song sound like? Is it bouncy and lively?  Is it loud, or has it begun to slow down and get softer with age?  You are creating your own beautiful melody that is perfect for the chords in your song. Sing your song with the particular singers you have in your family right now, and if you sing it with the correct chord progression, you'll have a hit song on your hands.

Sing your song strong, and well and often.

                                      
Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - STOP Comparing yourself to others

Will I ever stop comparing myself to others? Good grief, I'm 65 years old! When will I accept myself as I am!

This is a great article.

Thanks,
Cathy
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Parenting Tip - How to Search for Answers

My children tease me about the advice I use to always give them--"put neosporin and a band aid on it" or "take some allergy medicine".  That seemed to cure just about anything in their young lives that would ail them. In the past few years my advice has changed to--"google it".  In my mind, all my answers can be found on the internet from someone who has had the same problem as I have.   But I feel that advice is kind of worldly and shallow when I think back to my own mother's advice to me as a young mother--"have you prayed about it?"

Lately, I've changed my advice to my children to incorporate both my solution and my mom's solution to problems. (I try not to give unsolicited advice to my children-- but boy, is it hard not to!)

My advice to my children now, when they ask me, is: search google for answers to your problems BUT also pray about your problems and get a Priesthood blessing.  To me these seem to go perfectly hand in hand, and I have a scripture to back it up!

Remember when Oliver Cowdery tried to help Joseph Smith with the translating of the Book of Mormon? He was chastised of the Lord.

7 Behold, you have not understood; you have supposed that I would give it unto you, when you took no thought save it was to ask me. 8 But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind; then you must ask me if it be right, and if it is right I will cause that your bosom shall burn within you; therefore, you shall feel that it is right. (Doctrine and Covenants section 9:7,8)

The Lord expects us to search out the answers to our problems, and the internet is one of the blessings the Lord has given to help us.

I recently heard the story of a young missionary who was in charge of several other missionaries.  He received a phone call saying two elders were having a serious disagreement with each other and he was  needed to come diffuse the situation.  As he went to their apartment and began talking with them, another elder showed up saying his companion had just become unconscious and he couldn't revive him.  The young missionary left the two fighting elders to help the sick elder.  They had to call the paramedics and the now conscious elder was taken to the hospital.  The young missionary then called his mission president to tell him what had happened with both sets of missionaries and asked him for his advice.  The mission president, much to his disappointment said, "I don't know what you should do Elder.  That's why I put you there.  You figure it out." Now years later, the man telling the story said he had come to learn that the Lord will help us find the answers, but we must first study and search for ourselves.

I realize that searching the internet is kind of a secular way to search for answers.  But it is one of the fastest ways to find experts on all kind of situations from parenting issues, to physical and emotional ailments and of course, household and repair problems.  The problem is--you don't know which solution is the best answer for your particular problem.

There is another way of searching out and finding the answers to life's problems, and that is listening to the "still, small voice". The Holy Ghost  will tell us the truth and the answer for our particular situation.
I have found an interesting way of listening to the Holy Ghost.  On my morning walks, I listen to podcasts about knitting, or crafting or sewing.  But I've found on the mornings I listen to a BYU devotional talk, a thought will come to my mind that will help me with a situation or problem I'm having.  Sometimes the thought is totally unrelated to what the speaker is saying, but I always feel the truth of the thought and it becomes planted in my soul.  It is another way that I am showing Heavenly Father that I am trying to "study it out" in my mind.

I feel when we ask for a Priesthood blessing, that also shows we are again trying to study out our problem and realize the great need we have for heavenly help in our searching.

One last thought.  Many times our problems won't be solved immediately.  The thoughts and answers we have found may take time to resolve our issues.  Don't mistakenly think you didn't get the correct answers after all, but allow time to help you in solving them.  And feel the peace that someone who loves you from above, is indeed helping you.

Thanks for reading,
Cathy

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