Wednesday, April 8, 2015

Parenting Tip - Focus on the Positive!

A friend talked to me about one of her daughters.  She was worried about this child, who seemed to get mad, stay mad, refuse to talk about her feelings or problems and said negative things to her brother and sister. As my friend worried about the situation, she became more and more fearful and envisioned this daughter as a teenager experiencing a multitude of anger issues and acting out behavior.  This mom was scared and didn't know what to do.

Then a couple of days later, my friend related how she had suddenly "come to her senses."  She thought about her daughter and all the great characteristics and talents she had.  She remembered how her daughter loved to be active and liked to play outside or go on walks.  She remembered how her daughter was constantly playing the piano and enjoyed playing church songs.  She remembered how funny her daughter was and how thoughtful she was.  She remembered that her daughter had come home from school one day saying she needed to choose a new friend because her present friend was mean and said bad things to other kids.

This mom had been distracted by her daughter's immaturity on one level and had forgotten all about  the other wonderful traits she had.  As she focused on the negative aspects of her daughter's personality, the negative was all she could see.  But as soon as she started to focus on the positive characteristics of her daughter, my friend said she felt relieved, light hearted and saw many, many good qualities in her daughter.

She started inviting her daughter to run with her, since she had keyed into the fact that her daughter needed and liked physical exercise.  She started complimenting her daughter on her piano playing, and started giving her hugs and more positive attention.  And this daughter flourished--because her  mom focused on the positive instead of the negative.
Thanks for reading,

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