Parenting Tip - Might As Well Try!

 I heard a true story that has completely changed my attitude and actions.  This high school boy heard about auditions for a singing group that would be touring internationally.  He wanted to try out for it so he told his friend about it so they could audition together.  His friend said, "we're not going to make it.  Why even try?"  The first boy said, "Because we have already NOT made it right now.  But if we audition there is a chance that we WILL make it."  So they auditioned and made it!

I can't draw and don't know how to water color.  If I take a class, I'm not going to suddenly become Grandma Moses (a woman who became famous for her artwork which she picked up at age 78).  But you already can't draw and water color.  Taking a class will at least teach you the basics and get you going.

I want to teach ukulele classes again, but no one will sign up during this weird stage of COVID-19. You already are not teaching. Offer a class and see if anyone signs up.   (so far 18 students have signed up--I had to offer 2 additional classes!)

You don't have a green thumb.  You can't garden--everything you plant dies on you.  Why bother to wish for a new landscaped backyard.   You already have dead plants and an ugly backyard.  Take a class to find out why they die. Look up ideas for a backyard and follow their lead.  (I took an online class and found out about watering correctly, fertilizing and planting in the correct spot for the plant's needs.  I looked up ideas, got professional help and have received numerous compliments on my backyard).

Now when I want to try something new, I think about where I am at and how I already don't know how to do it.  But what is the harm in trying, and learning and growing.  It's invigorating and fun!!

My first sunflower!

learning to write with fancy fonts... 

one of my fairy gardens

Parenting Tip - Homemade Toys

 I've been experimenting with HOMEMADE TOYS.  This is a subject that I've tinkered with ever since becoming a Mom.  And now that I'm a Grandma--I still find it a passion to do with my grandchildren.

I love looking for ideas on pinterest and on blogs, and then trying them out.  A lot of times I'm disappointed because my two grandsons, who live close, don't play with them as enthusiastically as I would like.  I blame it either on their age or sex.

 That's what happened with this toy.  The blog showed a toddler (a little girl) spending lots of time enjoying putting pipe cleaners in a strainer.  What a perfect age appropriate toy for a toddler--putting things into and out of spaces.  But my 2 and 4 year old grandsons didn't give it the time of day.  I tried it another day and sat on the floor with them and said, "let's make a silly hat!" I started poking the pipe cleaners into the holes, all the while oooing and ahhing.  They each contributed about 2 pipe cleaners and were done.
I took their pictures then put everything away.  Maybe if they were younger and were girls.......?


 This next idea, however, was a great success and
my grandsons have played with it several times and with different materials.  The first idea was to hammer golf tees into an empty styrofoam egg carton.  The boys had a great time doing that.  I also let them hammer the tees into one of those green styrofoam flowers blocks.  If you keep the cellophane around the styrofoam it works great but eventually it will start to crumble.

The next time I gave my grandsons an empty cardboard box.  I poked a series of small "starter" holes in a grid pattern, then let them hammer in the golf tees.  They really enjoy this activity and it is one they continue to want to do.  Yes!  Success!

Another simple homemade toy is colored popcycle sticks.  The boys and I will make elaborate paths for them to drive their toy cars on.  This continues to be a fun activity for them to do.
 

Stay tuned for the light box I made.   It has turned out to be a pretty good success, but one that I've had to tweak to make them interested in.

Thanks for reading.  Share any ideas you've come up with.

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - Egg Cartons and Golf Tees

I read a cute idea somewhere on the internet this summer that I tried with my grandsons and they loved it.  All you need is an empty egg carton, golf tees and a hammer, then this is what you do:

1.  Turn the egg carton upside
2.  Give hammer to child and watch his eyes light up in disbelief
3.  Hand child a golf tee and motion for him to hammer it into one of the upturned egg carton bumps
4.  Enjoy the smiles and happiness as grandson spends 30 minutes happily hammering tees into egg carton, opening carton to retrieve tees, and begin again.

I happened to have a foam egg carton and this made it really easy to hammer the golf tees in.  I think a cardboard egg carton might be more difficult, but once the holes are made, it's easy to re-hammer the tees into the same holes over and over again, which my grandson loves to do.

His little brother can't quite handle the hammering aspect of this activity, but he loves to push the tees into the holes of the upturned egg carton bumbs, then open the carton, take out the tees, and start pushing them in again.

Another thing my 3 year old grandson likes to hammer golf tees into is a square  floral foam--those green things you put in a vase and stick flowers into.  I bought a square one at the Dollar Tree and kept the plastic covering around it so it wouldn't disintegrate and make a mess.  You can hammer and re-hammer tees in it and it even has 4 sides so it should last forever. My grandson likes hammering tees into the floral foam even better than the egg carton.

 

So little money--so much happiness! Isn't life grand?!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - Validation

I've been babysitting 3 of my out-of-state grandchildren while my son and his wife are out of the country--a five year old, three year old and 11 month old. Wow!  What I've been learning!

The first couple of days were hard.  Very hard.  The three year old is a strong-willed child who does not understand the concept of taking turns or sharing.  I was not enjoying myself and not acting like myself.  I was grouchy, short tempered, felt picked on and started harboring and thinking negative thoughts. 

I felt bad about my feelings and called one of my daughters.  I was so frustrated-- at ME-- not my grandchildren.  I was discouraged with myself that at my age, I still am having negative, mean thoughts, that I can't control my anger, that I'm judging and coveting.  STILL.  When am I going to improve and get over my weaknesses?

My daughter told me that I wasn't going to perfect them in this life.  That they are my struggles and weaknesses and I have to deal with them my whole life--but that's  normal.  Yes, I can improve, but they will always be my demons.

For some reason that made me feel much better.  Oh.  It's a lifelong process.  I'm not a horrible person.  Yes, I'm having problems again with my feelings and attitudes, but I can nip them in the bud quicker now, than I did several years ago.

Another thing that happened to me, was several people validated that, yes, I had a difficult three year old to deal with.  Yes, it is very hard on you.

Once I was validated, and once I realized that I'm not a horrible person, I immediately felt better and immediately became my cheerful, fun loving, creative grandma-self again.  When my grandson started yelling and crying, I could change the atmosphere just by doing silly things to distract him.  One time I yelled, "Oh my gosh, there's a dinosaur outside!".  Then I rushed outside with two little boys following me and suddenly we were outside playing and having a good time.

The daughter I talked with was having a hard time herself.  She is a nanny for a little boy who is having difficulty in the potty training area.  She felt frustrated, mean and horrible like me.  Then the father and mother of the boy got a little more involved and said how hard the situation was and immediately, my daughter felt validated.  The situation didn't change, but now she could deal creatively and cheerfully with it again.

Validation is magical!  How cool is it, that when a situation doesn't change, but we are validated in the difficulty of it, then we become able to continue to face the challenge with new strength and energy?

Who can I validate? I'm going to be a better listener, and instead of trying to solve someone's problem, I'm going to validate that they truly are having a  difficult situation. 

"Your husband works nights and you never get to see him that much?  That must be really hard."

"You've been trying to find a new job for months and can't find anything?  That must get discouraging."

"You've been trying to lose weight, but nothing seems to help?  That's so frustrating."

Validation.  Miracle cure.

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - When your Child is Bored

My son told me about my granddaughter's first week of kindergarten.  When asked how she liked it, she told her Dad it was boring.  But later in the evening, she and her brother were talking about school and talking about the rodeo clown who had come to the school assembly.  Then my grandson mentioned that Maya, his kindergarten sister, had been chosen to go up on the stage to help the clown.  My son asked Maya, "I thought you said school was boring?"  She replied, "Well, not that part."

Kids! They're funny sometimes.

Now I want you to understand that my grandchildren are PERFECT, but in other children, I see a rising trend where children seem to think they have to be entertained constantly.  If they're not watching TV, then they're playing a video or computer game or going to soccer practice or dance or gymnastics.

My sister, who taught school for 40 years, always told her students if they complained of being bored, "only uncreative, uninteresting people are bored."

So what do we, as parents do, if our children complain of being bored at school or at home?  Teach them it's their responsibility to do something about their boredom.  Teach them that they should not rely on someone else to entertain them, but that they now have an opportunity to find something to learn or to invent or to do.

It's been said that necessity is the mother of invention.  One summer our family went on a day trip to visit my husband's aunt and uncle at their cabin. In the afternoon all the adults took a nap except for me.  I was completely bored and didn't know how to fill the next few hours.  Suddenly I decided to get the camera and take pictures of my children and their cousin illustrating the ABC's in nature.  For the next 2 hours we were engrossed in finding things that started with the letters of the alphabet and then posing for a picture (like laying in the hammock for the letter H, etc).  It was so fun.

Later, I took all the alphabet photos and made an illustrated alphabet book.  Throughout the years, my children and I have enjoyed looking at the book.  And each time, I am reminded that it was a blessing I was bored, or the book would never have been made.

Don't feel guilty if your child is bored.  Give him strategies to help him cope if he is bored at school such as writing a poem about what he learning, creating math picture problems, writing a story, or simply drawing and coloring a picture.  Don't think you have to provide constant entertainment or activity at home.  Jot some ideas down on pieces of paper, put them in a jar and let your child choose one of the slips of paper.  Be prepared and collect art supplies or other creative open ended activities to have your child engage in.

Or you can always do what I would do.  Give your child a chore to do if he complained of being bored.  That would certainly get the wheels turning in the brain.

Or you could say to your child what my husband would sometimes say, "go sit on your thumb and let your feet hang over." 

Thanks for reading,

Cathy 

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Parenting Tip - Create a Marble Run!

When I took my grandchildren to the Phoenix Children’s Museum after Christmas, one of the things they were enthralled with was the marble runs.  I came across this great idea of how to make one on this blog, and of course I had to try and make it.

 

I happened to have some plastic tubes I bought at the dollar tree a long time ago that I don’t use anymore, so I cut them up, glued on the magnets and took them with me when I went to babysit my grandson.  He's only 18  months old, and he liked them, but I think I had more fun than he did.  He’s still a little young to know how to change the tubes around to get different tracks.   AND marbles are not the safest toy for an 18 month old.   AND he started to pull the magnets off the back of the tubes.  Darn hot glue—it doesn’t stick very good.  So I tried gorilla glue.  Nope-won’t stick good to plastic.  I guess I’ll have to go back to the basic toilet tube marble run.  And I bought some bright colored little balls to roll down them instead of marbles (actually I cut up a cheap bead necklace).

 

 

Creating a marble run is a great idea for preschoolers and older children.  There are lots of ideas out there.  Here are a few to look at to get you and your children's creative juices going:

 http://www.frugalfamilyfunblog.com/2011/08/boredom-buster-marble-run.html

http://creativeconnectionsforkids.com/2012/01/fun-with-a-marble-run/ 

 

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - Boycott Commercials-Make Your Own!

Commercialism.  Oh my gosh.  Are you sick of the tv commercials showing every toy imaginable and tired of your children begging you for everything they see?  If only you could ban tv watching from Oct through Dec.  I know lots of you do ban tv watching, and I applaud you.  But when you take something away, sometimes you have to put something back in.  Here’s an idea.

 

Let your kids watch videos.  NO, NOT VCR movies on tv. I’m talking about home videos.  All those videos you take at picnics and birthdays and holidays.  Make a folder of them and let your children watch them over and over again.  That’s what one of my daughters does.  She doesn’t have a tv, but her children love to watch family videos.

 

With this idea, you are actually dovetailing in several areas.  You are promoting and preserving family history by helping your children bond with the cousins and grandparents and their siblings they see on the movies and by reminding them of family traditions and family fun times.

 

You are encouraging memory recall and sequencing skills.  Kids are great at remembering details and when they watch the same family videos over and over again, they notice more details, recall the sequence of events and can see cause and effects that might have otherwise gone unnoticed.

 

But what if you don’t have any family videos?  Start taking some!  Better yet, let your children take some.  Give them your camera (not an expensive one, of course) and have them make a home tour video so you can remember your house in years to come.  Have them make a video of a sibling singing a song or saying the Pledge of Allegiance or reciting a poem.  Have them make an informational or educational video on “How to Make a Peanut Butter Sandwich” or “How to do a Somersault on the Trampoline.”  Let them make their own commercials trying to sell something.

 

Hey wait, what a great gift idea.  Buy an inexpensive camera for your child and see what fun he will have.  Creativity will ooze from his snapping photo finger tips. You never know, this just may be the stimulus for the next great Steven Spielberg.

 

Parenting Tip -You are an Artist!

I listened to an interesting podcast today about the stained glass artist, Tom Holdman.   He is a young man who has created and made stained glass windows for LDS temples, Catholic churches, commercial buildings, residences and public art projects. What fascinated me the most about him though, was that he has a speech impediment.  And it was that disability that has shaped him into what he has become today. 

 

As I read more about Tom and his work with stained glass, I was amazed at how many thousands of small pieces of glass go into each window.  I thought of the hours and hours of time it took to work with so many pieces of glass to create a work of art.

 

I think that is one of the reasons we are fascinated and in awe of artists---at least that is why I am.  It not only takes talent, but it takes time and patience to create art.  Any art. 

 

I’m interested in quilting.  That medium uses many small pieces of fabric that are sewn together to create a beautiful masterpiece.   A great painting contains hundreds of strokes of paint.  A symphony is composed of note after note after note to make a beautiful harmonic masterpiece.

 

All great art takes time, patience and the willingness to let the work evolve into a creation of its own.

 

Mothers are artists.  We help create people.  We spend hours, weeks and years teaching and loving and showing patience through many small pieces of daily experiences.  We watch and wonder as our work of art begins to emerge into a beautiful masterpiece.

 

Do we view ourselves as artists or as bored and tired wives and mothers?  An artist works many hours alone with his project.  There is no one encouraging him while he is working laboriously and sometimes tediously on each project.  It is only at the unveiling that he is rewarded with the praise he deserves.

 

So it is with mothers.  Day in and day out we change diapers, cook meals, wash clothes and listen to whining children.  There is no one there to give us a high five and say “good job, Mom!”  But if we’re patient, if we keep in our mind’s eye the long range goal, and if we enjoy the small moments of each day, then we, too, will receive the praise and reward we deserve when our project is finished (is it ever finished?).

 

If we think of ourselves as artists, our daily struggles will seem more glamorous.  If we think of ourselves as artists we will view our “work” as a creative endeavor. If we think of ourselves as artists, we can enjoy the journey and feel gratitude for the magnificent work we have been entrusted with.