Parenting Tip - Might As Well Try!

 I heard a true story that has completely changed my attitude and actions.  This high school boy heard about auditions for a singing group that would be touring internationally.  He wanted to try out for it so he told his friend about it so they could audition together.  His friend said, "we're not going to make it.  Why even try?"  The first boy said, "Because we have already NOT made it right now.  But if we audition there is a chance that we WILL make it."  So they auditioned and made it!

I can't draw and don't know how to water color.  If I take a class, I'm not going to suddenly become Grandma Moses (a woman who became famous for her artwork which she picked up at age 78).  But you already can't draw and water color.  Taking a class will at least teach you the basics and get you going.

I want to teach ukulele classes again, but no one will sign up during this weird stage of COVID-19. You already are not teaching. Offer a class and see if anyone signs up.   (so far 18 students have signed up--I had to offer 2 additional classes!)

You don't have a green thumb.  You can't garden--everything you plant dies on you.  Why bother to wish for a new landscaped backyard.   You already have dead plants and an ugly backyard.  Take a class to find out why they die. Look up ideas for a backyard and follow their lead.  (I took an online class and found out about watering correctly, fertilizing and planting in the correct spot for the plant's needs.  I looked up ideas, got professional help and have received numerous compliments on my backyard).

Now when I want to try something new, I think about where I am at and how I already don't know how to do it.  But what is the harm in trying, and learning and growing.  It's invigorating and fun!!

My first sunflower!

learning to write with fancy fonts... 

one of my fairy gardens

Parenting Tip - Do I Have FAITH?

I was recently talking with a family member about faith.  We were questioning the amount of faith we had, because when compared with the faith the pioneers exhibited, we found our faith to be lacking. 

When reading about the sacrifice and faith of past ancestors and stories from the scriptures, I wonder if I could have made the same choices these faithful saints had made.  My great grandmother in Sweden was given the choice of continuing her allegiance to her new found Church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) or remain a member of the Lutheran Church- the state Church. This was the ultimatum given by the Lutheran priest in her town.  If she would not denounce her new faith she would be forced to give up her two foster daughters, ages 7 and 5 (which she had reared since birth).  She chose to remain faithful to her new religion, but suffered deeply over the loss of her two foster daughters.  My grandmother, who was a child (5) at this time, did not even know her sisters were not her real sisters. Eventually my great grandmother and her family emigrated to Utah to be with the Saints (when my grandmother was a teenager). 

Many times in my life I have thanked this great grandmother for her example of faith.  But could I have made that same choice?  As a young mother, and now an older mother and grandmother, I wonder if I would have enough faith to give up someone I loved so much?

When reading the scriptures, I often ponder over the martyrdom of the prophets and think, "Well, of course they had enough faith in God to die for His name, they were prophets."  But then I read about the men, women and children who would not deny their faith in Christ and were burned while Alma and Amulek had to watch. (Alma 14 : 8-10, Book of Mormon) Would I have enough faith to endure this horror?

I wonder about the Bible story when Daniel was told not to pray openly to his God but did anyway.  He was thrown in the lion's den but preserved by the hand of God. (Daniel 6) Yet when Alma, the younger, and his people were told not to pray, they obeyed and did not pray openly, but poured out their hearts to God in secret prayer.  They too, were eventually delivered by the hand of God, (Book of Mormon, Mosiah 24).  So it seems to me that the Lord accepts different ways of showing faith, depending on the circumstances.

How deep is MY faith?  Can I sacrifice really hard things if I am asked to?  As I have pondered these two questions over the years, I think I have finally come to this conclusion:

**I’m not asked to show the kind of faith shown by the pioneers or people in the scriptures.  

**I can’t compare my life situation to theirs.  We live in totally difference circumstances that require different living conditions and commitments.  

**I don’t understand the world they lived in with the attitudes and conditions of their times, or the historical context of their living situations.  And that is not a lame excuse, saying, "I don’t understand their times."  It is a fact.  It is a fact that life was different.  People thought differently, did different things to survive and thrive, and so they reacted differently and made choices differently compared to how we live today.

I decided to make a list of how I was showing faith, right now in my life.  Sorry--it's kind of personal so feel free to quit reading.......

How I am exercising FAITH right now:

**I am striving to endure to the end by giving SERVICE, and have faith this will make a difference in my eternal progression.  Currently I am a service missionary teaching ESL at the Somali Center in Phoenix two mornings a week and additionally creating tutoring lessons.

**I have faith that Ed is serving a mission (for the rest of my lifetime), and still helping our family and me.  Hey, I'm like the pioneers in some ways for this is the same sacrifice some of the women had to make when their husbands died or served missions for an extended period of time.

**I have faith my piano and ukulele teaching will help children and families by giving them the gift of music

**I have faith that my performing at retirement homes through music will help enrich a senior’s life

**I have faith that going to the temple every week will help my relatives make covenants so they can progress in the next life

**I have faith that exercising and eating nutritional food will help me to be healthy as I grow older

**I have faith that getting out of my comfort zone by flying to my out-of-state children's homes to babysit grandchildren will build a strong relationship with them in the future

**I have faith that reading my scriptures, conference talks, Come Follow Me, listening to BYU speeches, and other uplifting reading daily, will increase my spirituality and help me stay virtuous

**I have faith that learning to play the banjo and mandolin, knitting, and making art will help my creative abilities and be an advantage in the next life

**I have faith that I was inspired to start a blog and write my thoughts down so I could help someone else who is reading them

So that is how I am showing faith right now in my life.  I'm not walking across a prairie or freezing in the mountains with no food or help in sight.  But the pioneers did not walk their whole entire lives--which sometimes I find myself thinking they did.  No, that was but a short period of time in their lives.  Then they settled in towns, building homes, raising children, living their faith through their daily commitments.  

And that is what I am trying to do!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - How to be a Student

I'm in my late 60s, but I'm a student.
I teach piano and ukulele lessons, but I'm a student.
I've already graduated from college and completed a music endorsement, but I'm a student.

I'm a student because I'm taking mandolin lessons (I'm on week 3!)
I'm a student and just enrolled in a gardening course.
I'm a student and taking a fabric art class.

But there are many other areas where I'm a student, too.
I'm a student because I'm still learning from my children and grandchildren.
I'm a student because I'm still practicing things like learning not to judge and how to have faith.
I'm a student of the scriptures and learning new things each day I study them.

I bet if you looked at your life, you would realize you're a student too!

Sometimes it's fun to be a student.  I love to learn and accomplish new things.  It's fun to learn to play a new song on the mandolin.  Other times, it's not really fun being a student.  Not when I cower in fear or uncertainty instead of exercising faith.

It's easy to say, "Well, I'm just a student, that's why my efforts were not the best.  That's why I was wrong and goofed up."  or "Hey, what do you expect? I"m just learning?"

However, being a student-- a really good student---means there are certain requirements we need to fill, certain repetitions we need to perform, and a certain amount of time needed in order to acquire our new skill.

As a teacher, I tell my music students to practice slowly and play the notes correctly so their brain understands what to do.  I tell them to play a short section of their song many times in a row, perhaps 5-10 repetitions. I tell them to watch their fingering and do it correctly each time so their muscle memory can help them later on.

As a mandolin student I play the G scale on my mandolin over and over again.  My teacher says it's important to use the pick correctly, so I play slow and carefully.   I'm making progress but I wonder if I'll ever be good enough to play fast.

My teachers are kind and encouraging, both in my music, gardening and fabric art classes. There are some days when I can almost hear God, the Supreme Teacher, talking to me and encouraging me.  "Cathy, be slow and careful in how you want to judge that person."  "Cathy, I know you've read your scriptures countless times, read them again and pay attention this time."  "Cathy, you may not think you're making progress, but you are, hang in there!"

I'm a student for life-- learning and progressing one step and one day at a time. I will take it slowly, practice carefully and correctly, and enjoy each little success along my path.

Parenting Tip - Teaching Children to Feel the Spirit

There are so many things to teach our children, it can be overwhelming at times.
We may ask, "What are the most important things to teach?  How can I fit one more thing into my schedule?"

Read this article:  Learning the Language of the Spirit: 7 Teaching Tips for Parents and see how you can dovetail this type of learning with your everyday living that you already do with your children.

Thanks for reading,

Cathy
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Parenting Tip #55 All it takes is Patience

Patience: A coveted character trait longed for by parents toward their offspring.
When needed: daily, every minute
Why needed: because of ---two year olds, six year olds, ten year olds, teenagers….
How do you acquire it: Now there’s the $64,000.00 question!

How many times a day does a parent need patience? When your baby is crying but you just need to finish fixing dinner, when your two year old is throwing a temper tantrum at Target, when your six year old refuses to hurry and get dressed for school, when your teenager has a sullen expression and refuses to talk to you, when your ten year old hits his sister---again, when your husband leaves his clothes on the floor…..okay, I’ll stop.

But here is a twist. How do you teach your children to have patience? An interesting study was done on children and patience “suggesting that the ability to wait—to be patient—was a key character trait that might predict later success in life.” http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1207-20,00.html (to see video illustrating this research:http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=bd163ca6e9aa3210VgnVCM1000003a94610aRCRD&locale=0) If that is true, wouldn’t patience be a number one thing parents would want to teach their children?

So how do you teach your children to have patience? Here are some thoughts:
babies: none-their job is to teach YOU patience!
preschoolers:
1. play games where they have to wait for their turn
2. teach them to take turns at home
3. don’t let them always be the first to get whatever they want
4. make a calendar so they can mark off days until…vacation, holiday, birthday, etc
5. distract them or focus them to think of something else (like when you’re waiting in a llloooonnnnggggg line
School age/Teens:
1. help them visualize the end result/goal
2. outline steps to reach the goal (such as buying something they want, doing a hard homework assignment, etc)
3. Count to 10-helping them to control their anger
4. Think from the other person’s perspective – when fighting with their sibling, mean school teacher, rules they don’t like
5. Teach about banking, savings, and interest
6. Help direct focus—like during Church, writing assignments, negative thinking
7. Focus on the positive things in life—when they didn’t make a team, during illnesses, trials

But remember, it will take patience on your part before you will see the results on your children’s part.