Parenting Tip - The Paradigm Test

Text from my daughter to me:
        "So I've been trying not to feel like a failure by choosing to run the half marathon instead of the full [this coming weekend] in AZ.  I just haven't been able to get the training in.  I'm disciplined in lots of other areas, but this one hasn't been able to be a priority right now.  I was feeling kinda low until I had a new thought - Oh my gosh Mom!  I passed the test!!!!!!!
    I chose sacrificing time running this school year for doing homeschooling and being with  my kids instead of out running for myself!  It's not a failure at all!  It's a giant victory!!!!!  How would my kids be right now if I was completely ready for the full [marathon]??That's a scary thought.  My relationship with A [her 11 year daughter] definitely wouldn't have been strengthened through this year.  She would probably resent me for all the time spent babysitting M [the preschooler].  M would be a screen junkie.
     Dang.  Paradigm shift!  So grateful!!!"

Text from me to my daughter:
     "Sigh of relief!!  You chose the good part!!!  You DID pass the test!!!!  I'm so proud of you and love you so much!! (Wow, I just had a thought - this text could be from Heavenly Father just as much as it is from me.)"


So what have you been sacrificing, that with a paradigm shift, looks more like a blessing instead?
Are you a stay-at-home Mom with a college degree and inner desire to be out in the workforce? What are you trading for and what benefits can you see if you look close enough?  Are you developing other talents such as gardening, cooking, love of children's literature, home repair skills, or beautifying your home with recycling items?

Do you have a child with autism, ADD, speech problems or other issues?  But are you gaining knowledge, insight and gifts that you wouldn't otherwise have?

Do you have to pinch every penny and long to have your husband out of school?  But are you becoming adept at finding sales, learning to sew, and acquiring skills to refurbish used furniture?

I've had to give piano lessons in my home my whole married life to supplement our family income. For years I felt frustrated and pitied myself.  Then one day I had a paradigm shift and was shocked at what I saw.  What I saw were blessings everywhere.  Blessed that my husband worked from 5:30 am to 3:00 pm and could be home with our children when they came home from school.  Blessed that my husband enjoyed cooking and cooked dinner while I taught piano.  Blessed that I never had to advertise and always had lots of students to teach.  Blessed that I could teach my own children and share my love of music with them. The more I looked, the more blessings I saw.  I immediately fell to my knees and poured out my gratitude to my Heavenly Father.  I asked Him to forgive me for my thoughtlessness and past complaining.  Over the years I have realized what a blessing teaching piano has been in my life and how much I have grown as a teacher and a musician.

Paradigm Shift: an important change that happens when the usual way of thinking about or doing something is replaced by a new and different way.

Look at your life, look at your problems.  Have a paradigm shift and enjoy the blessings you see.

Thanks for reading,
Cathy
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Music Tip - Teach Your Baby Sign Language

It's so frustrating not to be able to communicate--whether you're in a different country where they speak a different language, or on the computer with it's different language.  How about if you're trying to communicate with your teenager (who speaks a different language at times!) or even your baby/toddler!

If you're visiting a different country, a dictionary helps somewhat, and if you're on the computer, your younger children can help you (ha, ha!).  Communicating with teenagers can be challenging and  rewarding, BUT talking with your baby is an unbelievable thrill!

You can communicate with your baby through sign language!
From age 8 months to 2 years your baby begins to know what he wants and needs, but does not have the skills to express his needs to you, his mother.  How frustrating for your baby and you.  By knowing a few basic signs such as milk, play, eat, sleepy, water and so on, you can ask your baby what he wants, and he can tell you what he needs.

Plus, it's so fun!! Involve your whole family in signing basic words.  Repetition is the key to success.  After several weeks of signing words (while saying them, of course) your 8-10 month old baby may start attempting to sign the words as well.  Her signs may be just approximate gestures to the ones that you are using, since her fine motor skills have not developed fully, but she'll definitely be signing a word and you'll know what it is.

There are several websites that give basic signs to begin your signing adventure.

Just choose a couple of signs like mommy and daddy, or eat and play, then incorporate the signs with your words throughout the coming days and weeks.  Don't get discouraged if your baby doesn't immediately respond and sign back.  It takes TIME to learn, digest information and be able to respond and perform it back.

If you live in the Mesa area, join my baby signing music class!

Music + sign language =  a whole lot of fun!

Thanks for reading,
Cathy

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Parenting Tip - Book Review

I couldn't help but write a blog post about the book I just finished reading today, because there are two interesting coincidences connected with it. 
The book is called, Rooftoppers, by Katherine Rundell.

First off, I have to say that I've had company for a month in December and it has been WONDERFUL!  I have been having so much fun with my daughters and grandchildren that I haven't had a chance to read a book for a long time.  But as everyone started to fly back home, I had a tiny bit of leisure time one evening, so I grabbed this book off my shelf and started reading it. 

It's about a girl trying to find her mother, who, it turns out, is a wonderful cellist.  As is the daughter. 

Coincidence #1: I'm reading this book as I'm taking my daughter and her boyfriend to the airport to fly back to Chicago.  And my daughter is a cellist.

After coming home from the airport this morning, since I have no more grandchildren to play with at the moment, I decide to finish reading the book. Great book.  I read about the author from the back insert and then look at the illustrator.  Her name is Lizzy Bromley.

Coincidence #2:  My youngest daughter had a baby a week ago and they named him Bromley! 

Yeah, weird, right?

Hear are two quotes from the book that I love:

"Almost impossible means still possible......never ignore a possible."

"Love and courage.....two words for the same thing.  You didn't need the person to be there with you, even, perhaps.  Just alive, somewhere....a place to put down [your] heart."

 Thanks for reading,
Cathy

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Parenting Tip - The Marvelous Brain

I just finished the most interesting and enlightening book called, The Spark by Kristine Barnett.

Amazon summarizes the book, in part, this way:

Kristine Barnett’s son Jacob has an IQ higher than Einstein’s, a photographic memory, and he taught himself calculus in two weeks. At nine he started working on an original theory in astrophysics that experts believe may someday put him in line for a Nobel Prize, and at age twelve he became a paid researcher in quantum physics. But the story of Kristine’s journey with Jake is all the more remarkable because his extraordinary mind was almost lost to autism. At age two, when Jake was diagnosed, Kristine was told he might never be able to tie his own shoes.

The Spark is a remarkable memoir of mother and son. Surrounded by “experts” at home and in special ed who tried to focus on Jake’s most basic skills and curtail his distracting interests—moving shadows on the wall, stars, plaid patterns on sofa fabric—Jake made no progress, withdrew more and more into his own world, and eventually stopped talking completely. Kristine knew in her heart that she had to make a change. Against the advice of her husband, Michael, and the developmental specialists, Kristine followed her instincts, pulled Jake out of special ed, and began preparing him for mainstream kindergarten on her own.

I LOVED this book and can't stop thinking about it. Two ideas impacted me:

1. My brain is very limited compared to this boy's brain who can picture mathematical equations in 3D and see patterns between them. The brain is marvelous organ and I find it so exciting to learn more about it.
2.  Jake's mother followed her gut reaction to pull him out of special ed and hours of therapy at home, and instead of focusing on what he couldn't do, she focused on his interests and what he could do.  As she allowed him to freely explore his interests, he opened up and was able to acquire the new skills the therapists had failed to help him learn.

Now Jake is 15 years old.  You can see him give a talk at Ted talks here.

All children are special, though naturally not as brilliant as Jacob Barnett.  But can we learn something from his story?  His mother always had her son's best interests in mind.  She fought for what she thought was best for him.  She used her creativity to let him follow his interests, though she went against the system and traditional thinking. 

We can do that with our own children.  Fight for what we know they need.  Give them time to create and explore and let them learn things they way their brain learns best, be it visual, auditory or kinesthetic.  Explore and learn together as a family.  The author wanted family traditions and fought for and used her energy to provide and maintain those traditions because she felt they were so important.

We can have family traditions, be it looking at the stars in the back yard, as they did, or camping and eating s'mores or playing sports or listening to music or making cookies or whatever!

Enjoy your own little geniuses and marvel at the way they learn and connect information and create.

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Music Tip #45 Connections

I love to look for teaching opportunities when I’m giving piano lessons.
“Well, duh,” you say, “Aren’t you teaching all during piano lessons?”
Yes, of course, I’m teaching, but I like to look for opportunities to connect piano teaching with real life teaching. For example, the other day a student played his piece very well, except for all the B flats he missed—about 4 of them. I circled some of the Bs and had him play a passage from the piece again. He still missed the B flats. So I had him circle the B flats himself and then talked to him about noticing the circles. I said, “when you see the circles coming, you need to be prepared to play the B as a B flat.”

That kind of rang a bell in my head, and after he played the B flats perfect this time, we talked about life and what things he should be noticing in life so that he would be prepared.

I have another piano student who is a perfectionist. If she starts making mistakes on a piece of music she thinks she knows well, she gets frustrated and starts crying.
Lately when I see her starting to tear up I interrupt her playing by clapping and saying, "Yeah for you. I love it when students make a mistake and then try to fix it. I don't expect you to be perfect--I'm not. But I love to know that when you make a mistake, you can figure out how to fix it."

Then I ask her if her mother or father get mad at her little brother when he is learning to walk but falls down. She says, "of course they don't". I tell her that's the way I feel when she falls down and makes a mistake in playing. I don't mind at all, because I know she's learning and eventually will play the piece well just like her brother will learn to walk.

It’s those teaching connections that I love to find and help students to relate to. And I don’t even charge extra for them!