Music Tip #60 Listen to your child

Isn't it interesting how your children teach you, the parent. I always tried to be consistent with my children and use natural consequences when disciplining them. But one day I discovered it was better to listen to my child and make decisions based on his needs.

Ben, my oldest, was 10 years old and had been practicing the piano without complaining for several months. I found that if I sat and listened to him practice, it was more enjoyable for him. But suddenly he started complaining again about having to practice and said he wanted to quit (something he hadn't said for a long time). He said the songs were too hard and too long and I gave him too many to practice (I was his piano teacher).

I told him he had to practice all the songs anyway--4 songs were not too many. He kept complaining. My usual tactic was to be consistent in my demands and try and force him to practice--which always resulted in a power struggle and a big fight.

This day, for some reason, I listened to what he was saying. He was overwhelmed. I backed off, and took one of his songs off his list and told him next week he could just learn part of it. He was happy with that, I was happy with that, and I learned to listen and cooperate.