Sunday, March 14, 2010

Parenting Tip #30 Why 2 Parents are Necessary

My son was out of town for a couple of days. While he was gone, my daughter-inlaw had quite an adventure when she took the 3 kids to a restaurant by herself. Here is the email she sent, which was pretty funny:

"Ben is out of town and I decided to take the kids out to dinner. We decided to try the brand new K.F.C. They had a buffet and I thought cool I can feed me and the kids for $15. Now for those of you who are gagging at the thought of K.F.C you have to understand.....When you live in a town as small as ours if a new business opens up its a big deal. So my first mistake was assuming that I could handle three kids at a buffet by myself. Let's just say that chaos theory doesn't even begin to describe my kids. By the time my kids have finished their first helping and have gone back for seconds I am barely sitting down with my first helping. My kids of course are bored [while I try to finish my meal].

That's when the real fun begins. Connor decides to eat a small starlight mint. Then he pesters Elise during which a squabble ensues and Connor swallows the mint. Next Connor is gagging and screaming because the mint get's stuck halfway down his throat. So Maya decides to start screaming and jumping up and down on the booth seat. I grabbed Connor to take him to the bathroom so that if he actually Vomits the other people don't lose their food too. During which time Elise watches Maya while Maya bounces and says "Connor's Gonna Die!" I am still trying to decide if that was in a worried tone or a gleeful tone as Elise insists.....

So Connor and I are in the bathroom. He's gagging and freaking out but he can still talk and breathe. I am trying to decide if the mint is still stuck or if he thinks it is still stuck. After a minute of this gagging stuff I decided that I should probably get help so I start to drag Connor out of the bathroom...As we leave the bathroom Connor give's one more gag and throws up the mint and his dinner right outside the bathroom door. I hustle Connor back into the bathroom towards the toilet. I grab paper towels and clean the mess up as best as I can. Connor then says he feels better and we go back and sit down. Now my food is cold but hey, I paid for it and I was going to eat . After three kids and having pretty much every body fluid known to man tossed my way and then cleaning it up I have developed nerves of steel and a cast iron stomach.

Half way through my dinner Connor blurts out, "Hey, mom what's an x-rated movie, and why would naked people getting shot be funny? How old do you have to be to see an X- rated movie? Why do you have to be that old to see one? What's the difference between X-rated and R-rated? Do you know that two kids in my class have seen R-rated and X-rated movies? I still don't understand why sticking your middle finger up is bad; what does that mean anyways?" I was never so relieved to leave in my life. I am also Super happy that Emergency services did not need to be called, nor a trip to the E.R. It also made me realize how much I miss Ben and his support."

And THAT is why 2 parents are necessary!

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