Parenting Tip - Might As Well Try!

 I heard a true story that has completely changed my attitude and actions.  This high school boy heard about auditions for a singing group that would be touring internationally.  He wanted to try out for it so he told his friend about it so they could audition together.  His friend said, "we're not going to make it.  Why even try?"  The first boy said, "Because we have already NOT made it right now.  But if we audition there is a chance that we WILL make it."  So they auditioned and made it!

I can't draw and don't know how to water color.  If I take a class, I'm not going to suddenly become Grandma Moses (a woman who became famous for her artwork which she picked up at age 78).  But you already can't draw and water color.  Taking a class will at least teach you the basics and get you going.

I want to teach ukulele classes again, but no one will sign up during this weird stage of COVID-19. You already are not teaching. Offer a class and see if anyone signs up.   (so far 18 students have signed up--I had to offer 2 additional classes!)

You don't have a green thumb.  You can't garden--everything you plant dies on you.  Why bother to wish for a new landscaped backyard.   You already have dead plants and an ugly backyard.  Take a class to find out why they die. Look up ideas for a backyard and follow their lead.  (I took an online class and found out about watering correctly, fertilizing and planting in the correct spot for the plant's needs.  I looked up ideas, got professional help and have received numerous compliments on my backyard).

Now when I want to try something new, I think about where I am at and how I already don't know how to do it.  But what is the harm in trying, and learning and growing.  It's invigorating and fun!!

My first sunflower!

learning to write with fancy fonts... 

one of my fairy gardens

Parenting Tip - Turning Frustration Around

Life is frustrating at times.  Lots of times.  Every day in fact, there are frustrating things that happen.  Frustrating things caused by others to you, by them not understanding what you said, by them doing their own thing instead of what you asked them to do, by them……well, you know what I mean.   Then, just as you’re judging someone else about their deficiencies, muttering under your breath about them, and rolling your eyes at what they did or say, you turn around a commit a major faux pas (an embarrassing or tactless act ) yourself. 

Ah….pride goeth before the fall!

Here are my recent situations:

1.  My hair cut.  A friend cuts my hair and I love the way she cuts it.  At my last hair cut she told me her secret of never getting “butchered” or getting her hair cut too short.  She said, “I say I just want a nip off the ends.”  That means no length is cut, just a little evening out. 

So 10 days ago I went to her to get my hair cut.  I told her I wanted what she had said to do, just a nip off my sides---it was the back at the neck that needed the trimming.  45 minutes later I walked out with one inch cut off the sides and the back of the neck super short.

Frustration!  I hated my hair and I do NOT LIKE it to be that short.   It ruined my whole week and I grumbled every morning when I fixed my hair or looked in the mirror.

2.  The Bishop asked to talk to me, initiated by me, because I felt my service missionary work was overwhelming me and my ability to do my other ward calling.  I explained the amount of time I invest each week in my service as a missionary.  We talked for quite some time and he agreed that if I was overwhelmed, I would be released.  Finally at the end of the conversation, I said something again about being a service missionary, and he replied, “Doesn’t your service missionary work just take an hour a week?”  I replied in unbelief, “NO! It takes Tues and Thurs morning plus hours during the week preparing file folders of lesson plans for the other tutors to use.”  I had explained that 3 times in those same words during our conversation but he hadn’t understood.  I sometimes spend 6-8 hours a week and he thought I was only spending one.  I wondered how I could have explained my situation any differently.

Now for my Pride Fall.  Yesterday I realized I had forgotten to mail and text my really good friend a Happy Birthday.  Then, when I got home from Church and looked at the calendar, to my horror, I had forgotten to wish my out-of-state grandson happy birthday 3 days ago!  I have tried so hard this year to be better at sending birthday cards on time and singing Happy Birthday on my ukulele on Marco Polo.  And here I had forgotten twice!!

The lesson I am constantly relearning is this: no one is perfect.  We will all make mistakes.  Sometimes it will necessitate me forgiving someone, and sometimes it will be necessary for someone else to forgive me. And especially hard to do: I have to forgive myself as well. 

So today I’m laughing at myself.  It’s so easy for me to judge others and their shortcomings when I am just as bad!

Funny, funny Cathy!

And the good news is:  my hair has grown a tiny bit, I was released from my other calling and had it reaffirmed to me that the Bishop is interested in my life and is led by the Spirit.  I texted my friend yesterday and sang to my grandson belatedly an hour ago. 

Things are normal.  And good.  And that’s what life is all about!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - How to be a Student

I'm in my late 60s, but I'm a student.
I teach piano and ukulele lessons, but I'm a student.
I've already graduated from college and completed a music endorsement, but I'm a student.

I'm a student because I'm taking mandolin lessons (I'm on week 3!)
I'm a student and just enrolled in a gardening course.
I'm a student and taking a fabric art class.

But there are many other areas where I'm a student, too.
I'm a student because I'm still learning from my children and grandchildren.
I'm a student because I'm still practicing things like learning not to judge and how to have faith.
I'm a student of the scriptures and learning new things each day I study them.

I bet if you looked at your life, you would realize you're a student too!

Sometimes it's fun to be a student.  I love to learn and accomplish new things.  It's fun to learn to play a new song on the mandolin.  Other times, it's not really fun being a student.  Not when I cower in fear or uncertainty instead of exercising faith.

It's easy to say, "Well, I'm just a student, that's why my efforts were not the best.  That's why I was wrong and goofed up."  or "Hey, what do you expect? I"m just learning?"

However, being a student-- a really good student---means there are certain requirements we need to fill, certain repetitions we need to perform, and a certain amount of time needed in order to acquire our new skill.

As a teacher, I tell my music students to practice slowly and play the notes correctly so their brain understands what to do.  I tell them to play a short section of their song many times in a row, perhaps 5-10 repetitions. I tell them to watch their fingering and do it correctly each time so their muscle memory can help them later on.

As a mandolin student I play the G scale on my mandolin over and over again.  My teacher says it's important to use the pick correctly, so I play slow and carefully.   I'm making progress but I wonder if I'll ever be good enough to play fast.

My teachers are kind and encouraging, both in my music, gardening and fabric art classes. There are some days when I can almost hear God, the Supreme Teacher, talking to me and encouraging me.  "Cathy, be slow and careful in how you want to judge that person."  "Cathy, I know you've read your scriptures countless times, read them again and pay attention this time."  "Cathy, you may not think you're making progress, but you are, hang in there!"

I'm a student for life-- learning and progressing one step and one day at a time. I will take it slowly, practice carefully and correctly, and enjoy each little success along my path.