Enjoy Life

My Dad is 98 years old and has gradually been getting more and more helpless and is finally bedfast. He has dementia and can't remember things, but is totally coherent about things in the "right now in front of his face".  Sadly he can't remember anything that has happened even 5 minutes ago.  My Mother, who is almost 92 years old takes care of him in the house they have lived in all their married life.  My brother has the beginning of alzheimers.  He was an accountant and business man but can't even add simple numbers together like 2+2.  He knows he is losing his memory and very aware of his circumstances and future.   My daughter-in-law who lives with me has cancer.  She had the Whipple surgery (most people used to die from it) and is going through chemo.   Seeing these love ones and the trials they are going through has made me fearful of the future.  I worry about what my future looks like.  Will I become a burden on my children?  If I travel to see my family, will I be in an accident and paralyzed the rest of my life?  What bad thing is looming on my horizon?

So for my May goal, I took PresNelson’s invitation to heart—to seek to increase my faith.  He also asked us to get rid of our personal debris and repent.  I decided I needed to rid myself of fear of the future and worry over it, and to instead increase my faith--somehow. 

I understand the principle that if we have fear, we don't have faith.   “For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.”2 Timothy 1:7

I prayed to know what to do to increase my faith and was impressed that I should “enjoy life”.  That is the action part or the works part of faith—enjoy my life and enjoy the activities I spend my time doing, like in reading books, gardening, and in learning and playing music and instruments.  I should enjoy new things I can do during the summer instead of hating the heat and being miserable.  I should enjoy traveling to visit my family instead of being fearful of accidents that could happen.  The thought came to me that enjoying my life shows gratitude to Heavenly Father for giving me such a wonderful life.  And I am indeed, very grateful for the life I have.

Tonight I decided to enjoy life by reading my book on the patio and enjoy the last of the cool evenings we will have in May.  I had bought a metal candle holder a few days ago at DI and today I bought a battery operated candle to put in it.  When I turned on the candle and put it in the metal candle holder, I was surprised to see the words on the side.  Another reminder from God, another personal revelation message—just for me.

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - Transitions in Life

Last month I turned 70 years old.  I have dreaded this day for several years.  In fact, I have dreaded it so much, that I completely ruined my 69th year by thinking constantly of turning 70 and so I didn't even appreciate my last year in the 60's decade.

The reason I have dreaded turning 70 was because this puts me in the "old people's" decade.  I feel like those are the people with gray hair and achy joints, who stand up slowly, are hard of hearing and go to bed at 9 pm.  The world categorizes them as "has beens" and that is how I thought my life would become.

But my hair is still brown (with lots of gray).  My joints don't hurt (knock on wood).  I have noticed, though ,that I can't hear high pitches and some nights I'm anxious to go to bed early, so I see myself sliding into being "old."  But I have so much energy still.  I want to continue teaching music and I want to travel and be an important person in my children and grandchildren's lives.  I don't want to be old and gray and sit in a rocking chair.

And to that mental turmoil I was experiencing in comes the pandemic with quarantine and life routine changes, closures and major upheaval.  Now I really am sitting at home doing nothing day after day.  My nightmare is real!

So I had a mid-life crisis.  I had a melt down. I had to talk seriously to myself and my God and get a handle on this new life.  Here is what I came up with:

*Life is in 3 parts:  Single life - birth to marriage (23 years) Wife/Mother – (age 23-61, 38 years)

Widow/Retirement (age 61-99, 38 years)  These years are based on my life.

*The last third of my life is as long as my middle life! 

*I’ve already lived 9 years of  my third life and have possibly 25+ years more---that’s a lot of time. 

*What am I going to do with it?  (I come from ancestors who lived a long life, so that’s what I’m counting on)

*I’m definitely not a “has been”.  I have interests, passions and goals.  I have a lot more things I need to accomplish and do. 

*This is my third life and I need to relish it, enjoy it, and keep learning, serving and loving.

I felt better about my life after figuring all of that out.  But with COVID-19 I can’t keep teaching as a service missionary, I can’t serve at the temple, and I can’t teach my music groups.  Then I remembered my 2020 yearly goal is to ACCEPT the season of life I’m in, accept the season of the year that’s here and accept others as they are.  So I had to figure out what I could do during this time of life.  I felt like if I knew what my values were, and did things each day that involved them, then I would feel like I was accomplishing things.

The values I decided on were: *Learn something new *Serve others *Seek Christ *Teach others

 I realized I have been doing things which include those values and so I feel much better about how I am spending my days.  I have a purpose in life.  I have goals.  I'm learning lots of new music on my banjo, ukulele and mandolin.  I'm looking for Just Serve projects and doing them.  I love reading the scriptures and learning from Come Follow Me podcasts.  I'm teaching my grandchildren through the marco polo app and doing science projects at my home.

I AM NOT A HAS BEEN!  

Watch out people.  Here I come with 70 years experience.  Welcome to the next third of my life!!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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Parenting Tip - Do I Have FAITH?

I was recently talking with a family member about faith.  We were questioning the amount of faith we had, because when compared with the faith the pioneers exhibited, we found our faith to be lacking. 

When reading about the sacrifice and faith of past ancestors and stories from the scriptures, I wonder if I could have made the same choices these faithful saints had made.  My great grandmother in Sweden was given the choice of continuing her allegiance to her new found Church (The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints) or remain a member of the Lutheran Church- the state Church. This was the ultimatum given by the Lutheran priest in her town.  If she would not denounce her new faith she would be forced to give up her two foster daughters, ages 7 and 5 (which she had reared since birth).  She chose to remain faithful to her new religion, but suffered deeply over the loss of her two foster daughters.  My grandmother, who was a child (5) at this time, did not even know her sisters were not her real sisters. Eventually my great grandmother and her family emigrated to Utah to be with the Saints (when my grandmother was a teenager). 

Many times in my life I have thanked this great grandmother for her example of faith.  But could I have made that same choice?  As a young mother, and now an older mother and grandmother, I wonder if I would have enough faith to give up someone I loved so much?

When reading the scriptures, I often ponder over the martyrdom of the prophets and think, "Well, of course they had enough faith in God to die for His name, they were prophets."  But then I read about the men, women and children who would not deny their faith in Christ and were burned while Alma and Amulek had to watch. (Alma 14 : 8-10, Book of Mormon) Would I have enough faith to endure this horror?

I wonder about the Bible story when Daniel was told not to pray openly to his God but did anyway.  He was thrown in the lion's den but preserved by the hand of God. (Daniel 6) Yet when Alma, the younger, and his people were told not to pray, they obeyed and did not pray openly, but poured out their hearts to God in secret prayer.  They too, were eventually delivered by the hand of God, (Book of Mormon, Mosiah 24).  So it seems to me that the Lord accepts different ways of showing faith, depending on the circumstances.

How deep is MY faith?  Can I sacrifice really hard things if I am asked to?  As I have pondered these two questions over the years, I think I have finally come to this conclusion:

**I’m not asked to show the kind of faith shown by the pioneers or people in the scriptures.  

**I can’t compare my life situation to theirs.  We live in totally difference circumstances that require different living conditions and commitments.  

**I don’t understand the world they lived in with the attitudes and conditions of their times, or the historical context of their living situations.  And that is not a lame excuse, saying, "I don’t understand their times."  It is a fact.  It is a fact that life was different.  People thought differently, did different things to survive and thrive, and so they reacted differently and made choices differently compared to how we live today.

I decided to make a list of how I was showing faith, right now in my life.  Sorry--it's kind of personal so feel free to quit reading.......

How I am exercising FAITH right now:

**I am striving to endure to the end by giving SERVICE, and have faith this will make a difference in my eternal progression.  Currently I am a service missionary teaching ESL at the Somali Center in Phoenix two mornings a week and additionally creating tutoring lessons.

**I have faith that Ed is serving a mission (for the rest of my lifetime), and still helping our family and me.  Hey, I'm like the pioneers in some ways for this is the same sacrifice some of the women had to make when their husbands died or served missions for an extended period of time.

**I have faith my piano and ukulele teaching will help children and families by giving them the gift of music

**I have faith that my performing at retirement homes through music will help enrich a senior’s life

**I have faith that going to the temple every week will help my relatives make covenants so they can progress in the next life

**I have faith that exercising and eating nutritional food will help me to be healthy as I grow older

**I have faith that getting out of my comfort zone by flying to my out-of-state children's homes to babysit grandchildren will build a strong relationship with them in the future

**I have faith that reading my scriptures, conference talks, Come Follow Me, listening to BYU speeches, and other uplifting reading daily, will increase my spirituality and help me stay virtuous

**I have faith that learning to play the banjo and mandolin, knitting, and making art will help my creative abilities and be an advantage in the next life

**I have faith that I was inspired to start a blog and write my thoughts down so I could help someone else who is reading them

So that is how I am showing faith right now in my life.  I'm not walking across a prairie or freezing in the mountains with no food or help in sight.  But the pioneers did not walk their whole entire lives--which sometimes I find myself thinking they did.  No, that was but a short period of time in their lives.  Then they settled in towns, building homes, raising children, living their faith through their daily commitments.  

And that is what I am trying to do!

Thanks for reading,

Cathy

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