Tuesday, December 4, 2012

Parenting Tip - Asking WHY?

Children go through stages.  One of the painful ones is the stage of asking "WHY?"  For months your child constantly asks, "why?" on every event, activity and issue you come across.  And it seems like their need to know never gets satisfied, because as soon as you answer the first "why", it is always followed by another "why".

But I think as parents, maybe WE should be asking ourselves, WHY?  Why am I doing what I'm doing, because it sure doesn't seem to be making a difference to my family.  Here are some things you might be struggling with and if you know the "why", it might give you encouragement to keep going.

Why am I a stay at home mother when we need more money and I can work while the kids are in school?
Why am I the one who has to set the mood for our family?
Why am I constantly having to teach my children to do their chores?
Why am I driving my kids to 5 different activities a week and getting stressed out?
Why do I have to fix dinner every day?

Two of the greatest gifts we can give our children is a sense of security and the knowledge that they are loved unconditionally.  When we think about these two gifts, we can see that a lot of the reasons why we do things is to give these gifts to our children.

Why do I stay home?  So I am there for my children when they are sick.  So I can catch teaching moments throughout the day to instill a truth into their hearts.  So I can give them a sense of security.  So I have time to prepare healthy meals and teaching moments.

Why am I the one who has to set the mood for our family?  Yeah, that seems totally unfair!  But it's a fact and hard things make you stronger.  You are the cornerstone of your family and have been entrusted with a great responsibility.

Why am I constantly having to teach my children to do their chores?  Because I am a teacher.  I teach children to be self sufficient and to be responsible so they can be mature adults.  It will take me a LONG time, but it is important for me to stick to it.

Why am I driving my kids to so many activities and stressing out?  Ummm, this is a hard one.  You might answer: so my children will have lots of opportunities to learn and grow.  But are they?  Or are you and they becoming stressed out?  Are you teaching, instead, that they are entitled to do everything that everyone else can do and teaching the lie, that "we can do it all".  The answer to this "why" may cause you to reconsider and change some things in your family.

Why do I have to fix dinner everyday?  So I can provide healthy food and teach my children to respect and care for their bodies.

Okay enough preaching and rambling.  I encourage you to look at WHAT you are doing and discover the WHY you are doing it.  It will help you to stick with it, or change it or tweak it or understand it.

Thanks for reading,



1 comment:

  1. Excellent thoughts, thank you.
    The "why?" question makes me laugh, because for whatever reason, Anne, now 2 1/2, doesn't ask "why" she asks "how" You can tell she really is meaning "why" but saying "how" I'm not sure where she got "how" but it makes the answer a little easier sometimes!
    I hope you have a wonderful Christmas.




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