Parenting Tip #52 "Are you in there?"

Parents, grandparents, teachers, let's be there--all there--for our children.
Video from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latterday Saints http://lds.org/ldsorg/v/index.jsp?vgnextoid=e419fb40e21cef00VgnVCM1000001f5e340aRCRD

Music Tip #51 Kleenex commercial clapping routine

I watched the Kleenex school clapping commercial on you tube for over an hour http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rcEkan8Lprs, stopping and starting it to get this clapping routine so I could teach it to my music classes at school. But what I discovered was that each new scene at school is a different clapping routine. I don't know if the different clapping sequences are really all linked together or not, but you could link them by having the students do each set 4 times before adding the next section. Here's the clapping routines:

1. Opening scene close up: (palms together and back of right hand touching partner's back left hand)Flip flop hands with partner, then your left hand claps open palm of your own right hand, clap partner's right hand above, clap own right hand in middle, clap partner's hand below, clap middle.

2. Hallway scene: Students in line. You pass the clap down the line one student at a time (like the wave). Clap both hands of partner on your left, clap your own hands as you turn and clap left hand of next person in line on your right, clap your own hands as you turn back to the left and clap original partner's both hands, clap own hands as turn to the right again and clap left hand of neighbor, etc. You just keep twisting back and forth.

3. Classroom scene:(1) pass from person to person (at desks) by clapping both hands of neighbor, then turning and clapping both hands of next person. (2)pass from person to person by just clapping right hands (3)sitting sideways at desks-clap right hand of partner, clap own hands, clap left hand of partner.

4. Hallway scene: one single line. Pass clap down line from person to person by clapping right hands. Boy runs down empty hallway and continues to pass clap by right hand clapping next person's right hand.

5. Hallway scene with partners(only 2 seconds long!): right clap with partner, clap under leg

6. Hallway scene in single line: (Pass clap down line from person to person til boy sneezes). Left palm under neighbor's right hand palm. Slap right hand on neighbor's right hand who then slaps his neighbor's right hand, etc.

7. Hallway scene with partners: clap both hands of partner, clap own hands, clap both hands of partner, turn and clap right hand of person behind you with your right hand, clap own hands as turn and face partner and continue with pattern.

8. Hallway scene with partners in two rows: clap own hands two time, do a vertical flip flop (right hand claps down on partner's upturned left palm simultaneously with your left hand palm coming up to clap partners right hand palm. Switch palm directions and clap), clap own hands, clap under leg.

9. Gym scene: (Lines in a spokes formation. Spokes going North, south,east and west are kids standing up. Spokes between these lines are kids sitting down.) Kids in the sit down lines are passing the beat same as in scene 6. Kids in the stand up lines are doing the flip flop like in scene 1, then clapping own hands as they turn and clap right hand of person behind then, clap as they turn back to partner.

Whew! Of course, they only showed partial clips from each set of routines. When I did this with my 5th and 6th graders, we made sure each set contained 8 beats and repeated it 4 times before going to the next scene routine. We did scenes 1,2,6,7, and 8. Then we chose music to put with our clapping routine. My students loved it!!

Music Tip #50 Made for music

Last year I got this card at the end of the year from one of my music students at school,
“I loved music this year. I’m made for music! Love, Lydia.” I thought to myself, “I must be MADE for music too, that’s why I love it so much.”

People are made for music. They need it, they want it, they use it all the time. Think of how often you hear music during a normal day. You probably have it on in the car, it’s played as background music in stores, and even when you’re put on hold on the phone. Music is a crucial element in TV shows, movies, and commercials. You use it when you exercise or relax, when you go to church or parades and when you go to sporting events or a restaurant.

Rhythm is an important element of music and a steady beat is the basis on which rhythm is made. Our bodies move with rhythm: our heart beats a steady beat, our breathing is a consistent in/out, our walking stride is in 4/4 time (watch people walking down the sidewalk and count a 4 beat pattern as they walk—yep they’re moving to a steady rhythm).

A steady beat is all around us. I’ve been intrigued with the idea that there is an inherent, steady beat flowing all around us and in us-- in all we do. I’ve been trying to find proof. Here’s some things I’ve been noticing. The space between the end of a question and the beginning of the answer in a conversation seems to be a certain length of time (1 beat or 4 beats if we're thinking?).

When a red light changes to a green light there seems to be a moment in time before cars begin to move (do we subconsciously wait for 4 beats before we touch the gas?) When repeating the Pledge of Allegiance as a group, it is like a choral reading with pauses and phrases choreographed unconsciously. At the end of a prayer in a group setting, the audience all says Amen at the same time—one beat after the person saying the prayer.

Notice how you brush your teeth. I follow a pattern and seem to brush each side for a slow count of 2 (I know, I should be brushing longer).

Start noticing rhythm and beat around you. Notice how wrong things are when rhythm and beat get out of sync (heart problems, crying kids). Remember we're ALL made for music!

Parenting Tip #51 Just a second

My son wrote this to me: A couple of days ago I was doing something with Jonas (7) and Teancum (3), and then had to go check on Asher (4 months). Teancum was asking a question as I walked away, so I said "Just a sec, Teancum." As I continued up the stairs I could hear Jonas explain to Teancum, "Just so you know, 'a sec' means a really long time."

Our kids catch on really fast. I thought about other things parents—and adults-- say and what the real meanings are. Here are a few I thought of:
That’s a great picture. Tell me about it=I don’t have a clue what you drew!
Just a minute=much longer than a second, so probably it means the next day.
Get your shoes on, we’re ready to go=I’m not quite ready yet but I’ll still beat you.
It won’t hurt=well, it will hurt, but not for very long.
Be good=mind your manners, don’t get in a fight, be obedient
Get ready for bed=it’s about to start--who is going to win the battle of the wills tonight?

“Just a second”… what can happen in a second? A hug, spilled milk, a sibling hit, a toy shared, a quick prayer for patience, a smile, toys dumped out, a wink, your child’s hair cut with scissors, a touch, a kiss-- the list is endless. As parents you’ve been told countless times “appreciate your children—they grow up so fast”.

Well, Jonas, it only takes a second and your childhood is gone. And no, this time it doesn’t mean a really long time. It’s a blink. Parents, take advantage of all those seconds in your child’s life and make them count.

My summer goal

Music Tip #49 Parent/Tot Classes

How can you encourage your toddler and preschooler to love and use music if you, yourself, feel inadequate in this area? Register for a parent/tot class! Classes are offered lots of places. Look at your city’s community/recreational class schedule, check out a nearby university or college community classes or look online to see where a local Kindermusik or Gymboree class is held.

I’m offering a parent/tot class through Gilbert’s Park and Recreation Department.
Registration is being taken now but closes soon. The class begins on Sept 18. These are great classes where you and your child can sing, dance, move and enjoy the power of music. Sign up for a class and watch the smile on your child’s face get bigger!"

http://www.gilbertrecreation.com/Activities/ActivitiesDetails.asp?ProcessWait=N&aid=10772

Parenting Tip #50 They are never too big

I watched a mother in Church one Sunday. Her big four year old son was sitting on her lap. Her 18 month old daughter was being taken care of by the older siblings and Dad. Her son sat on her lap the whole time during Church, interacting quietly with her, eating fruit snacks, looking at a book, and more importantly, feeling surrounded in her love.

I thought back to my 2nd oldest son when he was 7 or 8 years old. As soon as we sat down on our pew in Church, there he was, sitting on my lap. I remember thinking to myself, “I wonder when he is going to feel too big and embarrassed to want to sit on my lap?” I was happy he wanted my love and I knew because he was only 14 months older than his younger brother, that he needed to feel that physical love and attention from me.

I teach piano lessons to an 8 year old boy. His dad brings him and his younger sister to my home where they meet up with mom-who is coming straight from work. During the younger sister’s piano lesson, I notice the 8 year old constantly trying to get his mother’s attention by wanting to sit by her on the couch and lean against her. She shoos him away to the other couch and tells him to do his homework. I ache to say, “Please give your son a hug. He wants your physical touch and words of love so much.”

Our children are never too big to not want our hugs, kisses, and spoken words of love. Whether your child is 8 weeks old or 18 years old, give him a hug and tell him you love him. Today. And every day!

Music Tip #48 Just 3 minutes a day!

I think my most favorite scripture is "...by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise." Alma 37:6-Book of Mormon. I've been teaching my piano students that one of the "small and simple things" they can do to become a better piano player, is to practice their note reading flashcards 3 minutes every day. Those students that know the names of the notes can sightread faster, learn their pieces faster, and progress faster. And all it takes is 3 minutes every day.

If your child is learning his notes, don't have him learn the whole scale of flashcards from bass clef C up to treble clef C above middle C. That's too much to learn at once. Start with 2 flashcards, and when he knows them, add a third. Then a fourth note and so on. Start with just the treble clef notes first, then add the bass clef.

The brain stores this information in two different places in the brain. You can show your child a flashcard and she can easily and quickly play it on the piano (or other instrument). But to have her SAY the name of the note is a whole other brain processing skill. So when practicing flashcards make sure your child plays it AND says the note name.

Children learn in their own special ways. Some children easily pick up on learning "every good boy does fine" and that helps them learn the note names. Other children process and understand the note names when they realize the notes are in alphabetical order. Still others just can't remember them at all! When this happens I try to "hook" one of the note names to a person's name in their family. For example, one of my students-Greg-could not remember the note names at all. I showed him where the top space on the bass clef was and said, "that's your home. Look at the top space and always remember that is where you live--G for Greg." Once that was established (after several weeks) we could branch on to neighboring lines and space names.

Recently one of my students noticed that the bass clef top space, top line and space above, spelled G A B. For him, that will be the hook that will help him learn his notes--I hope. If children can discover a pattern or hook, it becomes theirs to remember forever.

There are several sites where you can download free flashcards. http://linkwaregraphics.com/
http://www.susanparadis.com/catalog.php?site=piano-teacher-resources&type=Games§ion=5&level=x&subtype=Music%20Reading&subtype2=x

Children LOVE games, so play games 3 minutes a day during practice time and see the improvement!

Parenting Tip # 49 Don't you know about having fun?

I got a text from my daughter. She said Laney, her 7 year old had just asked her, “Mom, don’t you know about having fun?” I thought that was hilarious. Later I found out about the situation that precipitated that remark-- Laney and her two siblings were playing in the bathtub with water up to the very top. Well, Laney, there’s fun, and then there’s fun involving a mess!

Does your family have fun together? Do your kids have fun playing with each other? What are some fun things to do as a family? The most fun ones, of course, should be free. I heard about a family that every once in a while would have a “book dinner”. That meant everyone could bring a book to the dinner table and they all read their books while eating. Fun! What about flying kites, jumping on the trampoline as a family, or laying on the trampoline and watching the clouds. That’s fun! Singing funny songs while in the car, playing jokes on April Fool’s Day, riding bikes together, putting up a tent in the back yard. Fun, fun, fun.

Then there’s using shaving cream as finger paint, playing with rice/beans in a cake pan, or this: squirt hair gel or shampoo in a ziplock bag, then lay the bag down on a flat surface and let your kids draw shapes on the bag. You can play beauty shop with the kids fixing the parent’s hair, play restaurant for lunch/dinner, or play hide and seek in the house—with the lights off.

How about making a fairy garden? http://www.herbcompanion.com/Gardening/Gardening-with-Fairies.aspx The list goes on and on. Decide to have fun with your family. Relax, smell the roses and have fun!

Music Tip #47 Big rocks in a jar

I'm sure a lot of you have heard or seen the object lesson of putting big rocks in a gallon jar. http://www.appleseeds.org/Big-Rocks_Covey.htm I LOVE this story because it is so true.

What are some of the BIG rocks you have in your life and in your family's life? If one of them is private music lessons, this becomes a tough rock to put in the jar. Parents know and understand the importance and value of practicing a musical instrument, but they have the harder job of getting their child to buy into that belief system.

So HOW and WHEN do you put the practice rock in the jar? The how could be having a family council meeting with your family and explaining your belief system of the value and importance of music. You could continue by saying that your family believes so strongly in the power of music, that it will be a priority for your family. It will be a daily practice. A big rock.

Then look and see what other big rocks you need to put in the jar. Do you have so many big rocks they WON'ALL FIT ? You may have to analyze the rocks and determine if some of them may not be so important after all. Are you rushing your child from soccer practice to piano lessons on Monday, followed by karate, dance, church activities, homework, etc on the other days? What about free time for your child to play and read? Should that be a large rock?

In the analogy, after the big rocks are placed in the jar, then there is still room for gravel, sand and water. What are the gravel, sand and water? More activities to cram in? I like to think of them as blessings that come from prioritizing. Like a smooth running home, time to talk with and enjoy your family, peace.

Now another big question is WHEN to put the practicing rock into your jar. Each family's schedule is different, and you may have to be creative. My sister and I took turns getting up at 6:30am on school days to practice the piano. The TV may have to be turned off on schools days so it is not a distraction. Other activities may need to be postponed until summer. Favorite times to practice for my piano students are before breakfast, after school, and after dinner.

The bottom line is this: if you want your child to be proficient at playing an instrument, consistent daily practice has to be done. Practicing 3 times a week won't do it. Practicing incorrectly won't do it. Practicing for short times won't do it. Learning to play an instrument is a really big rock! And it is worth it! Music is the language of the soul. Help your child discover and express his soul.

Music Tip #4 6 If you don't live on a farm....

I was recently listening to a podcast of an interview of Julie B. Beck, General Relief Society President of the LDS Church. http://feeds.lds.org/LDSConversations Sister Beck's two married daughters were present for the interview and eventually the questions got around to talking about how it was growing up in their home. One of the daughters said that all three of the children had to take piano lessons. Sister Beck chimed into the conversation and said, yes, that since she couldn't raise her children on a farm and teach them good work ethics, she decided learning to play the piano would be her vehicle to teaching her children how to work. Both her daughters and her son took lessons for many, many years. She would drive them to their lessons and took advantage of having a captive audience, and used these drives to talk with her children and ask them how their lives were going. One of the daughters didn't enjoy taking lessons or see the value until she was 16 years old. Then suddenly she fell in love with the piano and loves teaching it now. Today all three children give piano lessons themselves.

I loved that idea of having something in your family to teach good work ethics. And since most families don't have a farm, why, learning to play the piano--or any musical instrument--is a wonderful idea!

If you live on a farm, you discover that every day you have to feed/water and tend the animals. Everyday you have to irrigate, weed or fertilize the garden. If you live on a farm you learn the Law of the Harvest. You reap what you sow. Hard work in the beginning pays off in the end. If you live on a farm you appreciate that little things soon become big. Little seeds grow into tall plants. Little animals grow into large animals.

When you learn a musical instrument you discover that daily practicing helps you master a piece of music. When you practice a musical instrument you learn the Law of the Harvest. The amount of practicing you do each day directly effects how quickly you learn to play a song. When you take music lessons you learn that little things, like practicing a line a day eventually leads to knowing the whole piece of music.

Good work ethics--it's what you can teach your children--on a farm, or through music!

Music Tip #45 Connections

I love to look for teaching opportunities when I’m giving piano lessons.
“Well, duh,” you say, “Aren’t you teaching all during piano lessons?”
Yes, of course, I’m teaching, but I like to look for opportunities to connect piano teaching with real life teaching. For example, the other day a student played his piece very well, except for all the B flats he missed—about 4 of them. I circled some of the Bs and had him play a passage from the piece again. He still missed the B flats. So I had him circle the B flats himself and then talked to him about noticing the circles. I said, “when you see the circles coming, you need to be prepared to play the B as a B flat.”

That kind of rang a bell in my head, and after he played the B flats perfect this time, we talked about life and what things he should be noticing in life so that he would be prepared.

I have another piano student who is a perfectionist. If she starts making mistakes on a piece of music she thinks she knows well, she gets frustrated and starts crying.
Lately when I see her starting to tear up I interrupt her playing by clapping and saying, "Yeah for you. I love it when students make a mistake and then try to fix it. I don't expect you to be perfect--I'm not. But I love to know that when you make a mistake, you can figure out how to fix it."

Then I ask her if her mother or father get mad at her little brother when he is learning to walk but falls down. She says, "of course they don't". I tell her that's the way I feel when she falls down and makes a mistake in playing. I don't mind at all, because I know she's learning and eventually will play the piece well just like her brother will learn to walk.

It’s those teaching connections that I love to find and help students to relate to. And I don’t even charge extra for them!

Parenting Tip #48 Yea for technology!

Yea for technology--as long as you use it to your advantage rather than letting it take over your life. Case in point-- clip art. You can find clip art on everything you can think of—animals, objects, crafts, you name it. So my daughter took advantage of all these pictures that are available and used them for a creative writing project (actually, I think she was just using them to keep her daughters from being bored—but a “creative writing project” sounds better).

She printed off several pictures of dogs, gave them to her daughters, then they colored them, cut them out, pasted them on paper and wrote stories about the dogs. Ingenious. Simple. Creative.

You could also print off words that rhyme (like hat, bat, rat, mat, fat, sat, etc). Depending on the age of your child, they could categorize the pictures that rhyme, or write a poem and instead of writing the rhyming words, paste the pictures of the rhyming word at the end of the sentence.

The computer is great for children to practice skip counting i.e. 2,4,6,8, or 3,6,9,12. One of my piano students mentioned that at her school she had to learn to skip count for all the numbers, then when it came time to learn her multiplication tables, she had everything almost memorized because, for instance, if you can skip count 7,14,21,28etc. you can easily figure out what 3X7 equals from your skip counting.

Learning the alphabet is another great way to use the computer. Preschoolers love to find the alphabet on the keypad and type them in order. Especially when you use a fun font and a different color.

I know a lot of you have used the computer to teach your children. Please share your ideas with us.

Parenting Tip #47 Stop/Rewind!

My daughter was tired of the endless fighting that was going on in her house with her three kids. Summer had just started and looked like it was going to last a l-o-n-g time.
So she implemented the STOP/REWIND game. Here’s her words: “We just kept fighting and picking on each other, myself included. I was tired of disciplining every time, so we decided we could give each other a second chance by saying 'Stop! Rewind...' then we could go back and handle the situation right or say something nicer etc. The game was that anytime something was escalating, anyone in the family could call 'stop, rewind', even if they weren't in the fight. Then the person who called it plus anyone who was in the argument and cooperated by going back and trying again got a point. At the end of the day they got a chocolate chip for each point [they had accumulated that] day.

I remember being in the other room and hearing the girls start fighting, then Graham said, stop-rewind and the girls went back and corrected. All without me! That happened where Addy said it once too. They even justly called it on me a couple of times. The best part about it was there wasn't added fighting about 'who called it first' or 'who got the point' or whatever because everyone who participated would get a point.

This [game] worked great for a couple days until we were out of the habit of fighting and were distracted by other things.

post script. I am trying it on the kids [again]right now,[two months later] and they're looking at me like, 'whatever mom, that was so a month ago.' Ha. The little boogers...... Little do they know I have 8 discipline/ back talk/ naughty children books checked out from the library right now!"

Music Tip #44 Thunder Tubes

The last two days I went to a music conference. The first day it was held at the new Musical Instrument Museum in Phoenix, Az. http://www.themim.org/ Wow! If you live in the valley, this is a “must see” museum. They have over 10,000 musical instruments and objects from almost every country. There is a self guided tour complete with headsets so you can watch and listen to video clips of the featured instruments. The also have The Experience Gallery which is a hands-on room where you can actually play lots of the instruments seen in the other galleries.

Of course, my favorite room was the Gift Shop. I bought an instrument that I can use at school and I know my students will absolutely love it! It’s called a Thunder Tube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aos0Y53_R0Y. I had so much fun playing with it and so did all the adult family members who came for Sunday dinner tonight (unfortunately the only "kid" was my 4 month old grandson).

I want to make a thunder tube and so I looked up on the internet how to do it. Naturally, there were several posts. http://www.escapadedirect.com/thtuasoex.html, http://mypages.iit.edu/~smile/weekly/mp121002.html My favorite post said to use a Pringles potato chip can for the tube.

This would be a fun activity to involve your whole family in and you would not only be making a fun new musical instrument, but learning some science principles at the same time.